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166

LADY GLENORCHY GOES TO TAYMOUTH.

1770.

CHAPTER VIII.

Lady Glenorchy at Taymouth-Is an eminent example of diligence in business, united with fervour of spirit-Grows in the divine lifeMakes her will, and appoints Lady Maxwell executrix-Extracts from Diary from July 10. to September 30. 1770-Letters from Lady Glenorchy to Lady Maxwell-Lady Glenorchy returns to Edinburgh -There enjoys the means of grace in great abundance-Account of her religious experience-Extracts from Diary, from October 26. to December 31. 1770.

LADY GLENORCHY in the end of June went to Taymouth, and remained there till the beginning of October following, managing the domestic affairs of that great and magnificent establishment. This was an employment which might be thought, considering her age, (for she was not yet twenty-nine), the delicacy of her constitution, and the bad state of her health, would have fully occupied the whole of her time and talents, and left her little leisure for any thing else; yet, in reading her Diary at this period, one might be led to suppose, that early and late, and all the day long, she was only employed in works of piety and benevolence. She certainly was a most eminent example of diligence in business, united with fervour of spirit in serving the Lord. Still she was not satisfied with herself, or what she did. She thought she never could do enough; and what she did do, she considered as stained with most mortifying imperfection. She was always striving to do somewhat more, and praying fervently that she might do it better. Considering her circumstances,

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GROWS IN THe divine life.

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her youth, her rank, her wealth, her power, her trials, and the society in which, although reluctantly, she was obliged to mingle, and the very strong allurements to which she was exposed, her activity, her humility, her spirituality, and her fidelity, were truly surprising, and pointed her out as a wonderful and admirable monument of the grace of God. The truth of this remark will strikingly appear in the following extracts from the Diary, and letters which she wrote during this period to her friend Lady Maxwell. The intelligent reader will observe, too, in these extracts, how very much Lady Glenorchy's practice of writing a Diary tended to promote and strengthen the divine life in her soul, particularly from the account she gives of her experience on the return of her birth-day this year. Notwithstanding that self-abasement still continued, and in fact ever did continue to be a strong feature in her character, she evidently acknowledges herself to have made decided advances in her spiritual life. Her graces seem to have been improved, and her resolution of doing good greatly confirmed. This will appear to much advantage, if we attend to what passed in her mind, when, from the circumstance of her making her will, and appointing Lady Maxwell her executrix, she conceived herself to be on the very borders of eternity.

July 10.-I have been prevented, by the hurry of removing my family to this place, from continuing my Diary. I feel I am losing ground fast, and resolve through grace to set out afresh in the Christian course. Gracious Lord, grant me thy strength; undertake for me; turn thou me, and I shall be turned; draw me, and I will run after thee.

July 11.-I awoke this morning with great longings after Christ, and desires for perfect conformity to his image, and resolved to live to him through the day; but no sooner did I go into company, than my thoughts were dissipated. After breakfast I got some little revival by prayer. The rest of the day I spent in work, and hearing the life of Mr Hogg read. I feel condemned at having done nothing for the souls of my fellow-creatures, nor having redeemed much time for prayer. Lord help me, for I am weak!

Sunday, July 15.-For some days the Lord has been pleased to visit me with sickness-blessed be his name for this. I had great need of correction. Alas, I fear I stand still in need of much more. But did not Christ come to seek and to save those who were lost? Did he not die for the ungodly? Surely then he came to die for me, to save me;-this is my hope. O that thou wouldst now witness this truth to my soul by thy Holy Spirit, and cause it rejoice in thee, my God and Saviour!

Sunday, July 22.-This week past I have lived an inactive life, yet the Lord has given me some few opportunities of speaking for him, and of relieving the bodily wants of the poor. He has also delivered me from temptation. I observe, that by prayer we may obtain all things consistent with the will of God. I have found it to be so this week.

July 24.-Last night the Lord was pleased to give me a sight of my great distance from him, and my sloth and negligence in seeking him in a way of duty. He hath shewn himself to me to-day as a prayer hear

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DIARY.

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ing God. I asked power to speak to a person of distinction about his soul, and was enabled to do so, and to give him a book. I was enabled to bear my testimony to the truth, to him, and to several others during the course of the day. This evening six of my servants have met together to pray for the rest.

Sunday, July 29.-Yesterday I was ill in body, but much refreshed and comforted by the coming of the Rev. Mr J. He preached this day. I was led to be much in prayer for a blessing to the people. In the evening he preached again in the dining-room; the power and presence of the Lord seemed to be with us, and my dead heart felt in some measure the force of what he said. I was condemned, and roused, and strengthened to speak boldly for God to my company during the rest of the evening. I find the more I speak of God, the easier it is, and the more opportunities I get of doing so. O that I could praise the Lord for all he has done for me! But instead of this, I grow impatient under the remainder of sin, and am in danger of thinking hard thoughts of God. I would be set free all at once. Self still reigns in me, else I should submit to his time and way, and be found patiently waiting for him in the use of the means he has appointed. O Lord, when, how, and what thou wilt!

Thursday, August 2.-This being a fast-day, I got up earlier than usual, and spent two hours in humbling myself before the Lord, and imploring that faith without which it is impossible to please him. I likewise asked strength to perform a difficult duty, which he has enabled me to do this afternoon. I have found great benefit from being much in prayer this day, and

have a comfortable hope that the Lord will receive me, and enable me to live to his glory.

Friday, August 3.-The Lord has heard me this day, in giving me power to speak to several poor souls. I find he is always willing to impart strength for duty when we are willing to perform it. I received an account of the illness of a dear friend this night. I find I have not so much resignation to the will of God as I ought. I have prayed for it, and committed my friend to the Lord. I desire to see God as my only portion!

Sunday, August 5.-Very dead in prayer this morning, although not without hope that the Lord would revive me. I went to his table, and sought him; and though I felt no assurance of his love, yet was enabled to cast my soul upon Jesus, and to look to him for complete salvation. I was led to pray much for the people; and think the Lord will visit this country.

Monday, August 6.-I went out this morning to the fields, at seven o'clock, in great deadness of soul, to pour out my heart, and to cry to the Lord. I took all around me to witness that I consented to be his, and committed my soul to him. And now, O my God, I would again beseech thee to accept this free-will offering of my soul, body, and spirit! I have none in heaven but thee, and there is none on earth that I desire besides thee. I would give thee my whole heart, but I am unable to do any thing of myself. I therefore beseech thee to come this day, even now, Lord Jesus, into my soul, and reign thou there king for ever! Subdue all thine enemies in me, and make

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