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This is the time,
For those whom wifdem and whom Nature
To fteal themselves from the degenerate crowd,
And foar above this little fcene of things; To trend low-thoughted vice beneath their
To footh the throbbing paffions into peace, And woo lone quiet in her filent walks.'
The fallen leaves that ruffled under my feet as I walked on, feemed to whisper in my ear, Winter is at hand; for when Summer quits us fhort is the progrefs till Winter
Reigns tremendous o'er the conquer'd year.'
As yet it was warm and fine, and Night was clad in her brightest robe; no fullen cloud obfcured the bright face of Heaven, all was beauty, and all was peace: each
poured its radiance around, and the pale-eyed moon fhed her waning luftre on the earth. Thus may we addrefs Night when filence and fere. nity attend her:
"Lo! where the meek-ey'd train attend !
Croffing a field of ftubble I heard the partridge's cry.-Night-loving bird! well may'ft thou, at this feafon more efpecially, feek the gloom of midnight rather than the glare of day; inftinct has taught thee to dread the hour of light, and inftinct teaches truly. Soon as morning appears, the fportfman, with jocund heart, will feek thy clofeft haunt; there the
To joy at anguish, and delight in blood, Is what your horrid bofoms never knew.'
On my way home, toward which I was now hafleming, as the mills began to rife, my ideas, by an inpulle which no man can control or define, were led to the females of the /prefent day; that fome few of them are faulty the fairest among them will allow; that they are but few, very few, I am extremely willing to believe: but as my walks are addreff ed more particularly to them, and for their perufal, I am fure I fhall be excused for ending this with what Hurdis calls a friendly lecture to the fair' The truths it contains are ob vious, and though it is a long quotation, fill the beauty of it will am. ply repay thofe who have never before read it; and to thofe who have the pleafing recollections of Hurdis's poetry, will be, I am fure, a fufficient inducement for them again to peJule it.
From him who ill deferves. Let the spruce beau,
That lean, fweet-fcented and palav'rous Who talks of honour and his fword, and fool, plucks
The man who dare advife him by the nofe;
I would that all the fair ones of this ife
She lives no more! And I a genius need
That amiable maid the poet drew
How often have I chain'd my truant tongue
Surely that maid deferves a monarch's love
And nought diminish of the public ftock. Show me a maid fo fair in all your . ranks,
Ye crowded boarding-fchools! Are ye not To taint the infant mind, to point the way apt To fashionable folly, ftiew with flow'rs The path of vice, and teach the wayward chikl
Extravagance and pride? Who learns in you
To be the prudent wife, or pious mother? To be her parents ftaff, or husband's joy? 'Tis you diffolve the links that once held faft
The matrimonial knot: 'Tis you divide
We owe the ruin of our dearest blifs!
And we shall fee the path of virtue smooth
With often treading. She can best difpenfe
That frequent medicine the foul requires, And make it grateful to the tongue of youth,
By mixture of affection. She can charm
She will not faint, for the inftructs her own.
Under the sculptor's chifel; till at length
Y A woman fair and good, as child for pa-
Say, man, what more delights thee than the fair?
What should we not be patient to endure
And hold the rein with judgment. Their
May once again reftore the quiet reign
The blush of folly, and the fhame of
Every Man his own Punfter.
Puns are difliked by none but those who
can't make them.
MR. EDITOR, THE following fragment has been tranfmitted to me by mr. O'Nick, of St. Patrick's, in Dublin, who affures me that it is an unpublished MS. of DEAN SWIFT. There is, I think, internal evidence fufficient to prove the affirmative, and whilst I exprefs my pleasure in communicating it to the public, through your work, I cannot refrain from grieving that fo little of the original defign has been accomplished. It is called, as you will perceive, RULES FOR PUNNING, or rules for all perfons and feafons but the dean has only left us the ébauche of a single day.
RULES FOR PUNNING; OR, PUNS FOR ALL PERSONS AND SEASONS.
Prefatory remarks on the art of punning-its antiquity from Homer's &c. down to Shakespeare, &c. Its outis, through Sophocles, Cicero, advantages over wit. Wit requires wit in the hearer to comprehend it— a lafting and infuperable objection to its univerfality. Puns, on the contrary, require no wit to make them, nor any to understand them. Prove this by their well known effect on ftupidity in drawing rooms, and theatres, &c. An act to aholith pun. ning, would be the deftruction of three quarters of what are called the wits of our times, and fifteen-fixteenths of the dramatic writers.
Under thefe circumftances of fa
fhion and prevalence, a man might
MASTER OF A FAMILY.
Firft day-fketch to be filled up. Sunday.This is a day of reit for all things but women's tongues and puns--they have none. You go to church, of course, to fet a good example to your family, but let them attend to the parfon, you may be preparing puns against dinner time, when you expect a party.
The man of the houfe is nothing without his wife. It is becoming that fhe fhould affift vou-fhe is your helpunate. Connive together, and let her put leading quefiions. Half an hour before dinner-company come. All very ftupid as ufual. Mrs. obferves, that the fears that the dinner will be rather late, as fhe was obliged to take Adam, the footman, to the park, on account of the children. The hufband immediately remarks, that Adam may be the firft of men, but he is a damn flow fellow.
Mrs. My dear Tom, you deferve a Cane for that. Mrs. -. Ay, if you were Able to give it me, who am a hoft to day. Perhaps you were on the Eve of faying this; well there's as much chance in thefe things as in a Pair-o'-dice. (A general laugh.)
Here you are at the end of this excellent fubject. I don't know that any thing more can be made of it.
N. B. Hire no man unless his name is Adam, or he will fuffer you to call him fo.
Let your children enter. Mifs Lucy, George, and Theodore, all punfters, but this day is devoted to the father. Call your daughter Lucy, because, if you are a profound fcholar, you can frequently bring in luce clarior. Your other girl, Sally, ran away with an apothecary. Mrs. will fay this, and you'll exclaim, Ah, SAL volatile 15
Invite a poor emigré to your table at these times. He is always to afk, when your children appear, Et ce qu'ils font tous parle la meme
When you are to reply-Yes, I believe they are all by the fame mare, but I won't answer for the horfe
This is not very complimentary to
N 0 T E. This has been given to Foote; but dates decide.
[The emigré does not understand this, but he is to laugh heartily nevertheless].
Mrs. Here, Adam; take this key, and you'll find fome in the flore room, at the top of the houfe.
M.--. Attic fult, eh! ha, ha, ha! Well, come let's fall to; this meat will keeep no longer without
Mr. My dear Tom, that rich dith will only give you the gout. Mr. Pooh Chacun a fon gout.' Why should not I eat it
Mrs. My love, fhall I fend you a peach? Mr. Yes, and if it is'nt a good one, I'll impeach your judgment.
By connivance with the Frenchman, he must offer you a pinch of Maccuba fnuff, faying, he's forry it is not better, but his Tonquin bean has loft its flavour. You then reply-Ay, I fee it's one of the hasBEENS. Mrs. Mrs.
Oh that's too bad. Why, it's wit at a pinch, at any rate, therefore if need not make you baw-1, as if I had got into the wrong box. (Turning to the boys.)--What's Latin for goose, eh!
Boys. Brandy, papa!
Mrs. You'll kill yourfelf with that vile liquor. Mr. Ifn't it eau de vie ? Mrs. at fome time, mut call for the nutmeg grater.-You take it, and addrefs your neighbour : Sir, you are a great man, but here is a grater.
The fweetmeats will be praifed of course.
Mr.. All my wife's doing. Nancy's a notable woman, I affure you; but I am more not able than the is, an't I, my dear? Ladies all rife. Mrs. ―――――. (Blufhing.)-I can take a hint. My dear, pray touch the bell.
Mr.--. (Chucking a young lady under the chin.)-Yes, my love, I'll touch the belle.
as well as another ?
Mrs. Blefs me, how you mangle that duck.` Mr. Mangle it my love. Well, I think that's better than to wash and iron it; but tell me how you'll have it done, and you fhall find me ductile.
[Many opportunities will offer of making obfcene puns, but I give no rules for thefe; they come naturally to every punfter! all I fhall fay, is, that they must never be neglected.]
Let your cook be famous for pancakes. One of your little boys muft enquire for fome."
Mr.--. My dear this is Sunday; you know we can't have pancakes till Fri-day.
Many more puns must be introduced. Champaign, real pain, after all cheese is beft, &c.]
The company will, probably, add fome, and you may, alfo, by accident; however, you'll be fure of this advantage over your friends, that, you'll be certain of all thefe while you're with your wife, and at home. Your acquaintance, of course, have james, and if they have no other merit, it's very hard if you can't make fomething of them in the pun way. Any blockhead can do
Mr. Give every man his deferts. Shakspeare.
No, I think you weg,