1808. This is the time, For those whom wifdem and whom Nature charm, poured its radiance around, and the pale-eyed moon fhed her waning luftre on the earth. Thus may we addrefs Night when filence and fere. nity attend her: Lo! where the meek-ey'd train attend! OGILVIE. Croffing a field of ftubble I heard the partridge's cry.-Night-loving bird! well may'ft thou, at this feafon more efpecially, feek the gloom of midnight rather than the glare of day; inftinct has taught thee to dread the hour of light, and inftinct teaches truly. Soon as morning appears, the fportfman, with jocund heart, will feek thy closest haunt; there the fear fteady pointer will fhew thy hidingplace-his mafter advances; feizes thee! you rife, aud death almoft certainly awaits thee! Here the rude clamour of the fportsman's joy, The gun faft thund'ring, and the winded horn, Would tempt the mufe to fing the rural game: How, in his mid career, the spaniel, struck gun, Glanc'd juft, and fudden, from the fowler's eye, O'ertakes their founding pinions; and again, Immediate, brings them from the tow'ring wing Dead to the ground; or drives them wide difpers'd Wounded, and wheeling various, down the wind. These are not subjects for the peaceful mufe, Nor will the ftain with fuch her spotlefs fong; Then mott delighted when the focial fees The whole mix'd animal creation round Alive, and happy. 'Tis not joy to her, This falfely cheerful barb'rous game of death; This rage of pleasure, which the restless youth Awakes, impatient, with the gleaming To joy at anguish, and delight in blood, Is what your horrid bofoms never knew.' On my way home, toward which pe Unwedded maiden, is there yet a man Be fedulous to win the man of fenfe ; Who leaves at coliege what he learn'd at And whips his academic hours away, boots, More ftudious of his hunter than his books. was When ev'ry woman was a judge of arms When women dealt in Hebrew, Latin, Greek : No deuces then, but all were deeply learn'd. How often have I chain'd my truant tongue Surely that maid deferves a monarch's love And nought diminish of the public ftock. Show me a maid fo fair in all your ranks, Ye crowded boarding-fchools! Are ye not To taint the infant mind, to point the way you Extravagance and pride? Who learns in The matrimonial knot: 'Tis you divide We owe the ruin of our dearest blifs! What should we not be patient to endure And hold the rein with judgment. Their May once again reftore the quiet reign The blufh of folly, and the shame of vice !' VILLAGE CURATE. Every Man his own Punfter. Puns are difliked by none but those who can't make them. MR. EDITOR, SWIFT. THE following fragment has been tranfmitted to me by mr. O'Nick, of St. Patrick's, in Dublin, who affures me that it is an unpublished MS. of DEAN SWIFT. There is, I think, internal evidence fufficient to prove the affirmative, and whilft I exprefs my pleasure in communicating it to the public, through your work, I cannot refrain from grieving that fo little of the original defign has been accomplished. It is called, as you will perceive, RULES FOR PUNNING, or rules for all perfons and feafons: but the dean has only left us the ébauche of a fingle day. Prefatory remarks on the art of punning-its antiquity from Homer's &c. down to Shakespeare, &c. Its outis, through Sophocles, Cicero, advantages over wit. Wit requires wit in the hearer to comprehend ita lafting and infuperable objection to its univerfality. Puns, on the contrary, require no wit to make them, nor any to understand them. Prove this by their well known effect on ftupidity in drawing rooms, and theatres, &c. An act to abolith pun. ning, would be the destruction of three quarters of what are called the wits of our times, and fifteen-fixteenths of the dramatic writers. Under these circumstances of fashion and prevalence, a man might as well go into a gambling house without knowing how to play, as into company without knowing how to make himself agreeable by punning. Rules are neceffary for the acquifition of every art. Let what Ovid defired to have faid of him, in respect to love, be faid of me, with regard to punning Magifter erat.' In the rules divided thus-puns for every day, in one week, in winter, fpring, fummer, and autumn. Puns, in thefe different feafons, for men, and puns for women, varied according to the clafs of life, and the rank held in the particular eftablishment, &c. &c. MASTER OF A FAMILY. First day-fketch to be filled up. Sunday.This is a day of reit for all things but women's tongues and puns--they have none. You go to church, of course, to fet a good example to your family, but let them attend to the parfon, you may be preparing puns against dinner time, when you expect a party. The your wife; but it would be a pretty joke indeed if a good pun was to be loft for fuch a trifling confiderati If you confult decency too much, there's an end of wit. He, who digs for diamonds, muft not be over fqueamish about dirt. Here mrs. The man of the houfe is nothing without his wife. It is becoming that fhe fhould affift vou-fhe is your helfunate. Connive together, and on. let her put leading questions. Half an hour before dinner-company come. All very ftupid as ufual. obferves, that the fears that the dinner will be rather late, as fhe was obliged to take Adam, the footman, to the park, on account of the children. The hufband immediately remarks, that Adam may be the firft of men, but he is a damn flow fellow. Mrs. Mrs. My dear Tom, you deferve a Cane for that. Mrs. Ay, if you were Able to give it me, who am a host to day. Perhaps you were on the Eve of faying this; well there's as much chance in thefe things as in a Pair-o'-dice. (A general laugh) Here you are at the end of this excellent fubject. I don't know that any thing more can be made of it. N. B. Hire no man unless his name is Adam, or he will fuffer you to call him fo. Let your children enter. Mifs Lucy, George, and Theodore, all punfters, but this day is devoted to the father. Call your daughter Lucy, because, if you are a profound fcholar, you can frequently bring in luce clarion. Your other girl, Sally, ran away with an apothecary. Mrs. will fay this, and you'll exclaim, 6 Ah, SAL volatile 1 Invite a poor emigré to your table at these times. He is always to ask, when your children appear, Et ce qu'ils font tous parle la meme mere ?' -, may fay, my dear Tom, I with the man would bring up the dinner. Mr, Bring up the dinner, my love? Heaven forbid! As we fay, in Latin, that's fie fic, fo fo. You must not be too nice, as I oblerved before. (Mrs. Mrs. rings the bell.) Enter fervant. Is dinner ready? Mr. (looking round.j-The chops are I'm fure. Adam. It is difhing now ma'am. (A crafh heard as if an accident.) ——, Difhing indeed— I fear Mr. it's dighed. Mrs. foup? Dinner-all feated. Will any body take Mr.. What, before grace, you graceless rogues. There's no parfon here I fee, though we are not without fome of the cloth. Weil, I'll fay it-grace at dinner is meet. [An univerfal laugh. The fight f of dinner is a breeder of good-humour.] Take care to have the falt cellars put on the table empty. Mr. Mr. Why what the devil's (As planned.)-You enough, I'm fure, my Ego hunior ipfe." Ovid. Very well, very well! my wife is not amifs. But the falt, Adam. Adam. Sir, the houfe-keeper's gone out, and I don't know where to get any. Mr. falt SELLERS? . Why an't here four [The Mis. mangle that duck." Mr. Mangle it my love. Well, I think that's better than to wash and iron it ; but tell me how you'll have it done, and you fhall find me ductile. [Many opportunities will offer of making obfcene puns, but I give no rules for thefe; they come naturally to every punter! all I fhall fay, is, that they must never be neglected.] Let your cook be famous for pancakes. One of your little boys mult enquire for fome. Mr. ---. -. My dear this is Sunday; you know we can't have pancakes till Fri-day. Many more puns must be introduced. Champaign, real pain, after all cheefe is bett, &c.] The company will, probably, add fome, and you may, alfo, by accident; however, you'll be fure of this advantage over your friends, that, you'll be certain of all thefe while you're with your wife, and at home. Your acquaintance, of courfe, have james, and if they have no other merit, it's very hard if you can't make fomething of them in the pun way. Any blockhead can do that. DESERT. Mrs. My love, fhall 1 fend you a peach? Mr. Yes, and if it is'nt a good one, I'll impeach your judgment. By connivance with the Frenchman, he must offer you a pinch of Maccuba fnuff, faying, he's forry it is not better, but his Tonquin bean has loft its flavour. You then reply-Ay, I fee it's one of the hasBEENS. Mrs. -----Oh! that's too bad. Mrs. Why, it's wit at a pinch, at any rate, therefore it need. not make you baw-1, as if I had got into the wrong box. (Turning to the boys.)--What's Latin for goofe, eh! Boys. Brandy, papa! -. Mrs. You'll kill yourfelf with that vile liquor. Mr. How can that beIfn't it eau de vie ? Mrs. --> at fome time, mut call for the nutmeg grater.-You take it, and addrefs your neighbour : Sir, you are a great man, but here is a grater. The fweetmeats will be praifed of course. Mr. All my wife's doing. Nancy's a notable woman, I affure you; but I am more not able than the is, an't I, my dear? Ladies all rife. Mrs. wag! (Going.) - You Mr.. No, I think you wag, but-(bowing)-I bow to you. The ladies gone, the gentlemen need no inftructions. They will all have recourfe of their mother tongue, Mr. Give every man his and the moft ignorant will thine the - deferts. Shakspeare. moft. The mafter muft begin with half a dozen obfcene puns, to make bimfelf |