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THE KING OF CLUBS.
SCENE THE CLUB-ROOM.
(The President prologuizes from the Chair.)
I LOVE variety; no book
From me obtains a second look,
In which I vainly seek to find
Who speaks one word of prose to-night.
(Members testify astonishment. O'Connor opens his mouth wide-Musgrave shuts his close-Lozell nods with assent-Burton with drowsinessOakley takes out his tablets, and appears to be working hard.)
MONTGOMERY. "I love to hear a clever rhymer rhyming
In learned measure, eloquent and strong! " "I love to hear a faulty timer timing
His horrid cadence, dissonant and wrong!"
MONTGOMERY. "Good poetry's the noblest thing on earth!
BRAMBLES OF DISPRAISE;
Which, when the precious leaves we snatch,
Too soft to make us cry about it—
And-we might go to sleep without it.
Quite puzzled by the Knight and Knave;'
Then here's a little note from 'Jessy,'
Our Muse goes limping on a patten,
"Silence! hark to the Chairman! "—(Hear !)' My head feels a sort of a dizziness,
I've written and spoke till it aches;
* Silence! Hark to the signal !-fire."-BYRON.
"I love a steak!-proudly it sweeps along;
But stop, Thalia, for you want a whet;
GOLIGHTLY. "Oh! Charles!-who said you were a dunce?
I heard you read a sonnet once,
And really I was so enchanted,
With all you said, and all you chaunted,
That home I hurried in delight,
And sat me down in haste to write
A little thing the Club shall see→
SONNET TO MR. BELLAMY.
"Oh! I am weary of thy minstrelsy;
Thou claw'st the chords with such a clumsy gripe,
Evermore drawling a dull sleepy air,
Like that the old Cow died of. Cruel Bard!
What have I done, that thou would'st have me share
(So I might 'scape the torture of thy lay) To read the Post or Courier day by day, To my deaf grandam. Oh! I could endure, Methinks, of harsh and grating sounds to die, So but thy song were spared, and I were sure, Bellamy, thou would'st not chaunt my elegy." CHORUS. "Bravo! the Sonnet of Sonnets !-oh never Talk now of your Orpheus and Linus ! ” "I vow and declare that it's almost as clever As mine on the Pons Asininus!" "Bravo-Golightly's the poet to please :" "May I never drink beer if he's not!" CHORUS. "Loaded and prim'd with such verses as these,
Number VI. will go off like a shot!"
BELLAMY. "Libel and felony !"
"Zounds! Mr. Bellamy!'
BELLAMY. "How can I sit with this base charlatan ?”
O'CONNOR. "Murder and turf!”
"How I'll cut and assassinate !
Mr. Golightly shall smart for it soon!"
O'CONNOR. "Nate Mr. Bellamy, don't be so passionate!"
(Exit in a passion !—All the Members much appalled.)
COURTENAY. "My friends! your spirits seem indeed
In most unusual excitation;
To cool them, I'll proceed to read
ARTICLES IN PREPARATION.
Two bits of prose from F. Golightly;
And Stanzas on Caernarvon Castle;'