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so cold and dull, that we laughed more at him than at them. Yet sometimes he said things, by chance as it were, which were pleasant enough; confirming the old proverb, he who often throweth the dice will sometimes make a lucky hit.

"When one of the company had said, I had taken care of the thieves and the cardinal of the vagabonds, so that nothing remained but that some public provision be made for the poor, whom sickness or age disabled from labour; Leave that to me,' said the fool, I shall take care of them, for there are none whose sight I abhor more, having been so often vexed with them and their complaints. But dolefully as they have told their tale, they could never draw one penny from me; for either I had no mind to give them any thing, or when I had a mind, I had nothing to give them. They now know me so well, that they lose not their labour, but let me pass without troubling me, for they expect nothing, any more in faith than if I was a priest. But I would have a law made for sending all these beggars to monasteries; the men to the Benedictines to be made lay-brothers, the women to be nuns.'

The cardinal smiled and approved of this in jest, while the rest liked it in earnest.

A divine was present, who, though a grave man, was so pleased with the reflection on the priests and monks, that he began to joke with the fool, and said to him, this will not clear you of all beggars, unless you take care of us friars.

• That is done already,' answered the fool, for the cardinal hath provided for you by his proposal for vagabonds. -I know no vagabonds like you.'

This amused the whole company, who, looking at the cardinal, perceived he was not displeased at it. But the friar, as you may imagine, was vexed, and grew into such passion that he could not help calling the fool, knave, slanderer, backbiter, and son of perdition, and then citing some dreadful denunciations against him from Scripture.

The jester thought he was now in his element, and laid about him freely. 'Good friar,' he said, be not angry, for it is written, in patience possess your soul.

The friar answered, (I give you his own words),

I am

not angry, you hang-dog, at least I sin not in it, for the Psalmist saith, be ye angry and sin not.'

'On this the cardinal admonished him gently, and wished him to govern his passion.

I speak not but from a good

For the holy have had a good

No, my lord,' said he, zeal, which I ought to have. zeal, as it is said, the zeal of thy house hath eaten me up. And we sing in our church, that those who mocked Elisha as he went up to the house of God, felt the effect of his zeal, which that mocker, that rogue, that scoundrel, will perhaps feel.'

You do this perhaps with a good intention,' said the cardinal, but in my opinion it were wiser, and perhaps better for you, not to engage in so ridiculous a contest with a fool.'

No, my lord,' done, for Solomon,

answered he, that were not wisely the wisest of men, said, answer a fool according to his folly; which I now do, and shew him the ditch into which he will fall if he be not aware of it. For if the many mockers of Elisha, only one bald man, felt the effect of his zeal, what will become of one mocker of so many friars, among whom are so many bald men? We have moreover a papal bull, by which all who jeer us are excommunicated.'

When the cardinal saw that there was no end of this matter, he made a sign to the fool to withdraw, changed the discourse, and soon afterward arose from table; and, taking leave of us, went to hear causes.

6

Thus, Mr. More, I have run out into a tedious story, of the length of which I should have been ashamed, had not you earnestly begged it of me, and listened to it as if you had no mind to lose a word. I might have contracted it, but I resolved to give it you in detail, that you might observe how those who despised what I had proposed, no sooner perceived that the cardinal did not disapprove of it, than they presently approved it, fawned on and flattered him, till they in good earnest applauded what he liked on

ly in jest. And hence you may gather, how little courtiers would value either me or my counsels.'

• You have done me,' I answered, a great kindness in this relation. For every thing hath been related by you wisely and pleasantly, and you have made me imagine I was in my own country and grown young again, by recalling to my thoughts that good cardinal, in whose family I was bred from my childhood. And though on other accounts you are dear to me, yet are you dearer by honouring his memory so much..

But, after all you have said, I am still of opinion that if you could overcome your aversion to the courts of princes, you might materially benefit mankind, by the advice you could give; and the benefit of mankind is the chief end which every good man should propose to himself in living. Your friend Plato thought nations would be happy when philosophers became kings, or kings philosophers; no wonder then we are so far from happiness, when philosophers will not think it their duty to assist kings with their counsels.'

• but they

Their minds are not so base,' he replied, would willingly do it (nay, many of them have done it by their writings), would those in power but listen to their advice. But Plato judged rightly, that except kings themselves became philosophers, being corrupted with false notions from their childhood, they would never consent en

tirely with the counsels of philosophers; and the truth of this himself experienced in Dionysius.

• Do not you think, if I was about any king, proposing good laws to him and endeavouring to root out all the cursed seeds of evil I could find in him, I should be turned out of his court, or at least laughed at for my pains?

For instance. What could it signify if I was about the king of France and called into his cabinet council, where several wise men were proposing sundry plans-as, by what arts Milan may be kept, and Naples, which hath so often slipped from his hands, recovered-how the Venetians, and after them the rest of Italy, may be subdued-then how Flanders, Brabant, and all Burgundy, with other kingdoms which he hath already swallowed in his designs, may be added to his empire.

• One proposeth a league with the Venetians, to be preserved as long as he findeth his account in it; and that he should communicate with them and give them a share of the spoil, till his successes render him less dependent on, or fearful of them, and then it may be easily broken.

Another proposeth hiring the Germans, and securing the Swiss by pensions; another, gaining the emperor by money, his deity. A fourth proposeth a peace with the king of Arragon, and, to cement it, the yielding the king of Navarre's pretensions; a fifth thinketh the prince of