from your poor daughter) and as it may be some little pleasure to me to read them myself, when I am come to you, to remind me of what I have gone through, and how great God's goodness has been to me, (which, I hope, will farther strengthen my good resolutions, that I may not hereafter, from my bad conduct, have reason to condemn myself from my own hand, as it were :) for all these reasons I will write as I have time, and as matters happen, send the scribble to you as I have opportunity; and if I do not every time, in form subscribe as I ought, I am sure you will always believe, that it is not for want of duty. So I will begin where I left off, about the talk between Mrs. Jervis and me, for me to ask to stay. Unknown to Mrs. Jervis, I put a project, as I may call it, in practice. I thought with myself some days ago Here I shall go home to my poor father and mother, and have nothing on my back that will be fit for my condition; for how would your poor daughter look with a silk night-gown, silken petticoats, cambric head-clothes, fine Holland linen, laced shoes, that were my lady's, and fine stockings! And how in a little while must these have looked, like old cast-offs, and I looked so for wearing them! People would have said (for poor folks are envious as well as rich), 'See there Goody Andrew's daughter, turned home from her fine place! What a tawdry figure she makes! How well that garb becomes her poor parents' circumstances!'How would they look upon me, thought I to myself, when they should come to be thread-bare, and worn out! And how should I look even if I could purchase home-spun clothes, to dwindle into them, one by one, as I got them? -May be, an old silk gown, and a linsey-woolsey petticoat, and the like. So, thought I, I had better get myself equipped in the dress that will become my condition. And though it may look but poor to what I have been used to wear of late days, yet it will serve me, when I am with you, for a good holiday and Sunday suit, and what, by a blessing on my industry, I may perhaps make shift to keep up to. So, as I was saying, unknown to any body, I bought of Farmer Nichols's wife and daughters, a good sad-coloured stuff, of their own spinning, enough to make me a gown and two petticoats; and I made robings and facing of a pretty bit of printed calico I had by me. I had a pretty good camblet quilted coat that I thought might do tolerably well; and I bought two flannel undercoats, not so good as my swan-skin and fine linen ones, but what will keep me warm, if any neighbour should get me to help them to milk, as sometimes I used to do formerly; for I am resolved to do all your good neighbours what kindness I can, and hope to make myself as much beloved about you as I am here. I got some Scots cloth, and made me, at mornings and nights, when nobody saw me, two shirts; I have enough left for two shirts, and two shifts, for you, my dear father and mother. When I come home, I'll make them for you, and desire your acceptance. Then I bought of a pedlar two pretty round-eared caps, a little straw hat, and a pair of knit mittens, turned up with white calico; and two pair of blue worsted hose, with white clocks, that make a smartish appearance, I'll assure you; and two yards of black ribband for my shift sleeves, and to serve as a necklace. When I had them all come home, I went and looked at them once in two hours for two days together: for you must know, though I lie with Mrs. Jervis, I keep my own apartment for my clothes, and nobody goes thither but myself. You'll say I was no bad house-wife to have saved so much money; but my dear good lady was always giving me something. I believed myself the more obliged to do this, because as I was turned away for what my master thought want of duty; and as he expected other returns for his presents, than I intended to make him; I thought it was but just to leave his presents behind me when I went away; for, you know, if I would not earn his wages, why should I have them? Don't trouble burself about the four guineas, nor borrow to make them up for they were given me, with some s ver, as a perquisite, being what my lady had about her when she died; and, as expect no wages, I am so vain as to think I have deserved all that money in the fourteen months since my lady's death: for she, good soul, over-paid me before, in learning and other kindnesses, Had she lived, none of these things might have happened! But I ought to be thankful it is no worse. Every thing will turn out for the best; that's my confidence. So, as I was saying, I have provided a new and more suitable dress, and I long to appear in it, more than ever I did in any new clothes in my life; for then I shall be soon after with you, and at case in my mind-But mum! Here he comes, I believe I am, &c. LETTER XXI. MY DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER, I WAS forced to break off; for I feared my master was coming; but it proved to be only Mrs. Jervis. She said, I can't endure you should be so much by yourself, Pamela.'-I,' said I, 'dread nothing so much as company; for my heart was up at my mouth now, for fear my master was coming. But I always rejoice to see dear Mrs. Jervis.' Said she, I have had a world of talk with my master about you.'-' I am sorry for it,' said I, that I am made of so much consequence as to be talked of by him.'-'O,' said she, 'I must not tell you all; you are of more consequence to him than you think for.'Or wish for,' said I; for the fruits of being of consequence to him, would make me of none Lo myself, or any body else.' Said she, Thou art as witty as any lady in the land: I wonder where thou gottest it.' But they must be poor ladies, with such great opportunities, I am sure, if they have no more wit than I. But let that pass. I suppose,' said I, that I am of so much consequence, however, as to vex him, if it be but to think he can't make a fool of such a one as I; and that is nothing but a rebuke to the pride of his high condition, which he did not expect, and knows not how to put up with,' "There is something in that, may-be,' said she; but, indeed, Pamela, he is · very angry with you too; and calls you twenty perverse things; wonders at his own folly, to have shewn you so much favour, as he calls it; which he was first inclined to, he says, for his mother's sake, and would have persisted to shew you for your own, if you was not your own enemy.' Nay, now I shan't love you, Mrs. Jervis, said I; 'you are going to persuade me to ask to stay, though you know the hazards I run.- No,' said she, he says you shall go : for he thinks it won't be for his reputation to keep you; "but he wished (don't speak of it for the world, Pamela) that he knew a lady of birth, just such another as your self, in person and mind, and he would marry her to-morrow.' I coloured up to the ears at this word: but said, 'Yet if I was the lady of birth, and he would offer to be rude first, as he has twice done to poor me, I don't know whether I should have him: for she that can bear an insult of that kind, I should think not worthy to be a gentleman's wife, any more than he would be a gentleman that would offer it.' 'Nay, now, Pamela,' said she, thou carriest thy notions a great way.'Well, dear Mrs. Jervis," said I, very seriously, for I could not help it, I am more full of fears than ever. I have only to beg of you, as one of the best friends I have in the world, to say nothing of my asking to stay. To say my master likes me, when I know what end he aims at, is abomination to my ears; and I shan't think myself safe till I am at my poor father's and mother's,' She was a little angry with me, till I assured her that I had not the least uneasiness on her account, but thought myself safe under her protection and friendship. And so we dropt the discourse for that time. I hope to have finished the ugly waistcoat in two days; after which, I have only some linea to get up, and shall then let you know how I contrive as to my passage; for the heavy rains will make it sad travelling on foot : but may-be I may get a place to which is ten miles of the way, in Farmer Nichols's close cart; for I can't sit a horse well at all, and may-be nobody will be suffered to see me on upon the way. But I hope to let you know more, from, &c. LETTER XXII. MY DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER, ALL my fellow-servants have now some notion that I am to go away; but can't imagine for what. Mrs. Jervis tells them, that my father and mother, growing in years, cannot live without me! and so I go home to them to comfort their old age, but they seem not to believe it. What they found it out by, was, the butler heard him say to me, as I passed by him, in the entry leading to the hall, Who's that?- Pamela, Sir,' said I. Pamela!' said he, how long are you to stay here?'--' Only, please your ho nour,' said I, 'till I have done the waistcoat; and it is almost finished. You might,' says he, very roughly, have finished that long ago. Indeed, and please your honour,' said I, 'I have worked early and late upon it: there is a great deal of work in it. Work in it said he; you mind your pen more than your needle; I don't want such idle sluts to stay in my house.' He seemed startled when he saw the butler, as he entered the hall, where Mr. Jonathan stood. What do you here?' said he. The butler was as much confounded as I; for, never having been taxed so roughly, I could not help crying sadly; and got out of both their ways to Mrs. Jervis, and told my complaint. This love,' said she, is the -! In how many shapes does it make people shew themselves! And in some the farthest from their hearts.' So one, and then another, has been siace whispering, Pray, Mrs. Jervis, lose Mrs. Pamela ?' as they What has she done?' and then she tells them as above, about going are we call me. home to you. She said afterwards to me, 'Well, Pamela, you have made our master, from the sweetest tempered gentleman in the world, one of the most peevish. But you have it in your power to make him as sweet tempered as ever; though I hope you'll never do it on his terms.' This was very good of Mrs. Jervis, but it intimated, that she thought as ill of his designs as I; and, as she knew his mind more than I, it convinced me that I ought to get away as fast as I could. My master came in, just now, to speak to Mrs. Jervis about household matters, having some company to dine with him to-morrow; I stood up, and having been crying at his roughness in the entry, I turned away my face. "You may well,' said he, turn away your cursed face; I wish I had never seen it!—Mrs Jervis, how long is she to be about this waistcoat?' 'Sir,' said I, if your honour had pleased, I would have taken it with me; and, though it would be now finished in a few hours, I will do so still, and remove this hated poor Pamela out of your house and sight for ever.'- Mrs. Jervis,' said he, not speaking to me, 'I believe this little slut has the power of witchcraft, if ever there was a witch'; for she enchants all that come near her. She makes even you, who should know better what the world is, think her an angel.' I offered to go away; for I believe he wanted me to ask to stay in my place, for all this his great wrath ; and he said, Stay here, stay here, when I bid you !' and snatched my hand. I trembled, and said, I will! I will!' for he hurt my fingers he grasped me so hard. He seemed to have a mind to say something to me; but broke off abruptly, and said, 'Be gone!' And away I tripped as fast as I could; and he and Mrs. Jervis had a deal of talk, as she told me; and, among the rest, he expressed himself vexed to have spoken in Mr. Jonathan's hearing. Now you must know, that Mr. Jonathan, our butler, is a very grave good sort of old man, with his hair as white as silver; and an honest worthy man he is. I was hurrying out with a flea in my ear, as the saying is, and going down stairs into the parlour, met him. He took hold of my hand (in a gentler manner, though, than my master) with both his and he said, Ah! sweet, sweet Mrs. Pamela ! what is it I heard but just now? I am sorry at my heart; but am sure I will sooner believe any body in fault than you.'- Thank you, Mr. Jonathan,' said I, 'but, as you value your place, don't be seen speaking to such a one as me.' I cried too; and slipt away as fast as I could from him, for his own sake, lest he should be seen to pity me.' And now I will give you an instance how much I am in Mr. Longman's es teem also. I had lost my pen, some-how; and my paper being written out, I stepped to Mr. Longman's our steward's office, to beg him to give me a pen or two, and a sheet or two of paper. He said, Aye, that I will, my sweet maiden! and gave me three pens, some wafers, a stick of wax, and twelve sheets of paper: and coming from his desk, where he was writing, he said, 'Let me have a word or two with you, my sweet little mistress,' (for so these two good old gentlemen often call me; for I believe they love me dearly) I hear bad news; that we are going to lose you: I hope it is not true?'-' Yes, it is, Sir,' said I, but I was in hopes it would not be known till I went away.' ́ ́What the d—l,' said he, ‘ails our master of late! I never saw such an alteration in any man in my life! He is pleased with nobody, as I see; and by what Mr. Jonathan tells me just now, he was quite out of the way with you. What could you have done to him, tro? Only Mrs. Jervis is a very good woman, or I should have feared she had been your enemy.' 'No,' said I, nothing like it. Mrs. Jervis is a just good woman, and, next to my father and mother, the best friend I have in the world.'- Well, then,' said he, it must be worse. Shall I guess? You are too pretty, my sweet mistress, and may-be too virtuous. Ah! have I not hit it? No, good Mr. Longman,' said I, 'don't think any thing amiss of my master; he is cross and angry with me, indeed, that's true; but I may have given him occasion for it, possibly; and because I a desirous to go to my father and mother, rather than stay here, perhaps he may think me ungrateful. But, you know, Sir,' said I, that a father and mother's comfort is the dearest thing to a good child that can be. Sweet excellence!' said he, this becomes you; but I know the world and mankind too well; though I must hear and see, and say nothing! And so a blessing attend my little sweeting,' said he, "whereever you go! And away I went, with a curtesy and thanks. Now this pleases me, my dear father and mother, to be so beloved. How much better it is, by good fame and integrity, to get every one's good word but one, than by pleasing that one, to make every one else one's enemy, and be an execrable creature besides! I am, &c. LETTER XXIII. MY DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER, WE had a great many neighbouring gentlemen, and their ladies, this day at dianer; and my master made a fine entertainment for them: Isaac, Mr. Jonathan, and Benjamin, waited at table: and Isaac tells Mrs. Jervis that the ladies will by-and-by come to see the house, and have the curiosity to see .ne; for, it seems, they said to my master, when the jokes flew about, Well, Mr. B-we understand you have a servant-maid who is the greatest beauty in the county; and, we promise ourselves to see her before we go." The wench is well enough,' said he, but no such beauty as you talk of, I'll assure ye. She was my mother's waiting-maid, who, on her death-bed, engaged me to be kind to her. She is young, and every thing is pretty that is young? Ay, ay,' said one of the ladies, that's true; but if your mother had not recommended her so strongly, there is so much merit in beauty, that I make no doubt such a fine gentleman would have wanted no inducement to be kind to it.' They all laughed at my master: and he, it seems, laughed for company; but said, I don't know how it is, but I see with different eyes from other people; for I have heard much more talk of her prettiness, than I think it deserves: she is well enough, as I said; but her greatest excellence is, that she is humble and courteous, and faithful, and makes all her fellow-servants love her: my housekeeper, in particular, doats upon her; and you know, ladies, she is a woman of discernment: and, as for Mr. Longman, and Jonathan, here, if they thought themselves young enough, I am told they would fight for her. Is it not true, Jonathan -Troth, Sir,' said he, 'an't please your honour, I never knew her peer, and all your honour's family are of the same mind.' Do you hear now?' said my master.-' Well,' said the ladies, we will make a visit to Mrs. Jervis, by-and-by, and hope to see this paragon.' I believe they are coming; and will tell you the rest by-and-by. I wish they had come, and were gone. Why can't they make their game without me? Well, these fine ladies have been here, and are gone back again. I would have been absent, if I could, and did step into the closet: but they saw me when they came in. There were four of them: Lady Arthur, at the great white house on the hill, Lady Brooks, Lady Towers, and the other, it seems, a countess, of some hard name, I forget what. So, Mrs. Jervis,' says one of the ladies, how do you do? We are all come to enquire after your health.''I am much obliged to your ladyships,' said Mrs. Jervis: will your ladyships please to sit down?' But,' said the countess, we are not only come to ask after Mrs. Jervis's health, but we are come to see a rarity besides.'~~ Ah,' says Lady Arthur, I have hot seen your Pamela these two years, and they tell me she is grown wondrous pretty in that time.' Then I wished I had not been in the closet; for when I came out, they must needs know I heard them: but I have often found, that bashful bodies owe themselves a spite, and frequently confound themselves more by endeavouring to avoid confusion. Why, yes,' says Mrs. Jervis, 'Pamela is very pretty indeed; she's but in the closet there.-Pamela, pray step hither.' I came out all covered with blushes, and they smiled at one ano ther. The countess took me by the hand. 'Why, indeed,' she was pleased to say, ' report has not been too lavish, I'll as sure you. Don't be ashamed, child,' (and stared full in my face) I wish I had just such a face to be ashamed of.' O how like a fool I looked! Lady Arthur said, Ay, my good Pamela, I say as her ladyship says: don't be so confused; though it becomes you too. I think your good departed lady made a sweet choice of such a pretty attendant. She would have been mighty proud of you, as she was always praising you, had she lived till now.' Ah, Madam!' said Lady Brooks, do you think that so dutiful a son as our neighbour, who always admired what his mother loved, does not pride himself, for all what he said at table, in such a pretty maiden?' She looked with such a malicious sneering countenance, I can't abide her. Lady Towers said, with a freer air, (for it seems she is called a wit,) 'Well, Mrs. Pamela, I can't say I like you so well as these ladies do; for I should never care, if you were my servant, to have you and your master in the same house together.' Then they all set up a great laugh. I know what I could have said, if I durst. But they are ladies and ladies may say any thing. Says Lady Towers, Can the pretty image speak, Mrs. Jervis? I vow she has speaking eyes! O you little rogue,' said she, and tapped me on the cheek, you seem born to undo, or to be undone!' God forbid, an' please your ladyship,' said I, it should be either. I beg,' said I, to withdraw; for the sense I have of my unworthiness renders me unfit for such a presence.' I then went away with one of my best curtsies: and Lady Towers said, as I went out, Prettily said, I vow!' And Lady Brooks said, 'See that shape! I never saw such a face and shape in my life; why she must be better descended than you have told me !' And so they ran on for half an hour more, in my praises, as I was told; and glad I was, when I got out of the hearing of them! But, it seems, they went down with such a story to my master, and so full of me, that he had much ado to stand it; but, as it was very little to my reputation, I am sure I could take no pride in it; and I feared it would make no better for me. This gives me another cause for wishing myself out of this house. This is Thursday morning, and next Thursday I hope to set out; for I have finished my task, and my master is horrid cross! I am vexed his crossness affects me so. If ever he had any kindness towards me, I believe he now hates me heartily. Is it not strange that love borders so much upon hate? But this wicked love is not like the true virtuous love, to be sure that and hatred must be as far off as light and darkness. And how must this bate have been increased, if he had met with a base compliance, after his wicked will had been gratified? Well, we may see by a little, what a great deal means. For if innocence cannot attract common civility, what must guilt expect, when novelty has ceased to have its charms, and changeableness has taken place of it? Thus we read in holy writ, that wicked Amnon, when he had ruined poor Tamar, hated her more than ever he had loved her, and would have turned her out of doors. How happy am I, to be turned out of doors with that sweet companion, my innocence! O may that be always my companion! And while I presume not upon my own strength, and am willing to avoid the tempter, I hope the Divine Grace will assist me. Forgive me, that I repeat in my letter part of my hourly prayer. I owe every thing next to God's goodness, to your piety and good examples, my dear parents, my dear poor parents! I say that word with pleasure: for your po verty is my pride, as your integrity shall be my imitation. As soon as I have dined, I will put on my new clothes. I long to have them |