will not sacrifice it on the altar of personal partiality: I will not attribute a virtue solely to the Paphian tribe, which is common to all the fair daughters of Eve; . from those that breath the pure air of St. James's, to those that imbibe the spungy vapours of St. Giles's; for the courtly belle and the city dame are equally sparing of it as yourselves. As it is your province to make man happy, truth has nothing to do in it; for, if we take an examination of what is generally understood by happiness, as it has respect either to the understanding or the senses, we shall find that all its properties will end under this short definition: that, it is a perpetual possession of being well deceived. In this, ye lovely fair, you want no instruction, or I would readily give it you: you are perfect mistresses of * Dean Swift. it from your cradle to an age of maturity in short, you are brought up and educated in that science so well adapted to protect the weakness of your sex. With relation to the mind or understanding, it is manifest what mighty advantages fiction has over truth; and the reason is plain, because imagination can build nobler scenes, and produce more wonderful revolutions, than fortune or nature will be at the expence to furnish: nor are you, ye lovely fair, to be blamed for deceit, if we consider that the debate merely lies between things past and things conceived*; and so the question is only this, whether things that have place in the imagination, may not as properly be said to exist as those that are * Dean Swift. seated in the memory, which may be justly held in the affirmative; and very much to the advantage of the former: since this is acknowledged to be the womb of things, and the other allowed to be no more than the grave*. Again, if we take this definition of happiness, and examine it with reference to the senses, it will be acknowledged wonderfully adapted. How fading and insipid do all objects appear to us, that are not conveyed in the vehicle of delusion! How shrunk is every thing as it appears in the glass of nature! So that if it were not for the assistance of artificial mediums, false lights, refracted angles, varnish, and tinsel; there would be a mighty level in the felicity and enjoyment of mortal mant. The most perfect happiness which we can enjoy is to be * Dean Swift. + Swift's Works. well deceived: why then should you deal in truth, when, by substituting deceit, and, if suspected in the least degree, even by swearing to it, which, in due justice, I will allow you are generally very ready to do, you can make your lover happy, who otherwise would be miserable, were he to know one half of your thoughts and actions ?—It is humane and charitable in you to keep him in ignorance. Besides, you are sanctioned by Aristotle, who asserts, that a humane lie is preferable to a cruel truth. The two senses that give you, ye love ly fair, the greatest satisfaction, are the sight and the touch. Therefore, in a lover never examine further than his countenance, shape, and figure. By no means attempt to examine his brain, for not one man in five hundred possesses any. If he be but handsome, well-made, and healthy, it is sufficient; for, the greater blockhead and fool he is, the more sure will you be of commanding both his affections and purse. Great characters are seldom worth a strict examination; they are like old china jars, beautiful and admired, by the world in general, for the exquisite workmanship with which they are adorned; but when you look into them, they generally contain dust, dirt, and cobwebs. The two senses, sight and touch, when conjunct, are delightful; but the pleasure of sight alone is imperfect, and is even a torment to the mind, if not accompanied with the delight of touching; of whose pleasures Cicero gives a beautiful idea when he says, "The touch is uniformly spread over the whole body; that we may feel all strokes and appulses of things." This charming description from |