the time I see you; for I will not part with my correspondent for anybody; no, not for Lady Davers. But I must insist upon your giving me the conversation with the young ladies related to Lady Towers and Mrs. Arthur.

I will observe everything you say in relation to Mrs. Jewkes; who is much as she was; but not better.

LETTER XLI.

Mrs. B to Miss Darnford.

MY DEAR MISS DARNFORD,-I was afraid I ended my last letter in a gloomy way; and I am obliged to you for the kind and friendly notice you take of it. It was owing to a train of thinking which sometimes I get into of late; I hope, only symptomatically, as you say, and that the cause and effect will soon vanish together.

But what a task, my dear friend, I'll warrant you think you have set me! I thought, in the progress of my Journal, and in my letters, I had given so many instances of Mr. B's polite tenderness to me, that no new ones would be required at my hands; and when I said he was always most complaisant before company, I little expected that such an inference would be drawn from my words, as would tend to question the uniformity of his behaviour to me when there were no witnesses to it. But I am glad you give me an opportunity to clear up all your doubts on this subject. To begin then:

You first desire an instance, where Mr. B—has borne with some infirmity of mine:

Next; that, in complaisance to my will, he has receded from his own:

And, lastly, whether he breaks not into my retirements unceremoniously, and without apology or concern, making

no difference between the field or the stud, and my chamber or closet?

I know not, my dear, what the distance is, at which the polite ladies, and those of rank, think it proper to endeavour to keep their husbands: but I will give you, by and by, the subject of one conversation only, which will answer all you mean, as I apprehend, and at the same time acquaint you with the notions and behaviour of us both, with respect to this distance and my retirements; and then leave you to judge as you think fit.

As to the first, his bearing with my infirmities, he is daily giving instances of his goodness to me on this head; and I am ashamed to say that of late I give him so much occasion for them as I do: But he sees my apprehensiveness, at times, though I endeavour to conceal it; and no husband was ever so soothing and so indulgent as Mr. B. He gives me the best advice, as to my malady, if I may call it one; treats me with redoubled tenderness; talks to me upon the subjects I most delight to dwell upon; as of my worthy parents; what they are doing at this time, and at that; of our intended journey to London; of the diversions of the town; of Miss Darnford's company; and when he goes abroad, sends up my good Mrs. Jervis to me, because I should not be alone: At other times takes me abroad with him; brings this neighbour and that neighbour to visit me; and carries me to visit them: talks of our journey to Kent, and into Lincolnshire, and to my Lady Davers's, to Bath, to Tunbridge, and I cannot tell whither, when the apprehended time shall be over.-In fine, my dear Miss Darnford, you cannot imagine one half of his tender goodness and politeness to me! Indeed you cannot-Then as to what you call respectful, he watches every motion of my eye, every turn of my countenance; seldom gives his opinion upon subjects that he kindly imagines within my capacity, till he has heard mine; and I have the less fear of falling into mean compliances, because his generosity is my guardian, and never fails to exalt me more than I can debase myself, or than it

is possible I can deserve. Then he hardly ever goes out to any distance, but he brings me some pretty present that he thinks will be grateful to me: when at home, he is seldom out of my company; delights to teach me French and Italian, and reads me pieces of manuscript poetry, in several of the modern tongues (for he speaks them all); explains to me everything I understand not; delights to answer all my questions, and to encourage my inquisitiveness and curiosity; tries to give me a notion of pictures and medals, and reads me lectures upon them, for he has a fine collection of both; and every now and then will have it, that he has been improved by my questions and observations.

Do they come

Or is not what

What say you to these things, my dear? up to your first question? or do they not? I have said a full answer, were I to say no more, to all your inquiries? Can there be any such thing as undue compliances to such a husband, on my side, think you? And when I have charmed to sleep, by my grateful duty, that watchful dragon, prerogative, as Lady Davers in one of her letters calls it;* and am resolved not to awake it, if I can help it, by the least disobliging or wilful perverse act, what have I to apprehend from it?

Oh, my dear, I am thoroughly convinced that half the misunderstandings among married people are owing to trifles, to petty distinctions, to mere words, and little captious follies, to overweenings, or unguarded petulances : And who would forego the solid satisfactions of life for the sake of triumphing in such poor contentions, if one could triumph?

Are such foibles as these to be dignified by the name of inclinations and humours, which, to be given up, would be making such a sacrifice as shall render the married life little desirable to free and generous minds?

But say not, my dear, to free and generous minds: for every high spirit deserves not these epithets: Nor think what I say a partiality in behalf of my own conduct, and

See vol. ii. p. 249.

an argument for tameness of spirit, and such a one as would lick the dust; for, let me tell you, my dear friend, that dearly as I love and honour my Mr. B-—, if he were to require of me anything that I thought it was my duty not to comply with, I should be the unhappiest creature in the world; because I am sure I should withstand his will, and desire him to excuse my non-compliance.

But then I would reserve my strength for these greater points, and would never dispute with him the smaller, although they were not entirely to my liking: And this would give both force and merit to the opposition, when I found it necessary: But to contest every little point, where nothing but one's stubborn will was in the question, what an inexcusable perverseness would that be! How ready to enter the lists against a husband, would it make one appear to him! And where, besides, is the merit of obliging, were we only to yield to what will oblige ourselves?

But you next require of me an instance, where, in complaisance to my will, he has receded from his own?. I do not know what to say to this. When Mr. B- is all tenderness and indulgence, as I have said, and requires of me nothing that I can have a material objection to, ought I not to oblige him? Can I have a will that is not his? Or would it be excusable if I had? All little matters, as I have said, I cheerfully give up: Great ones have not yet occurred between us, and I hope never will. One point indeed I have some apprehension may happen; and that, to be plain with you, is, we have had a debate or two on the subject (which I maintain) of a mother's duty to nurse her own child: and I am sorry to say it, he seems more determined than I wish he were, against it.

I hope it will not proceed so far as to awaken the sleeping dragon I mentioned, prerogative, by name; but I doubt I cannot give up this point very contentedly. But as to lesser points, had I been a duchess born, I think I would not have contested them with my husband.

Upon the whole of this question, then, I have really had no will of my own to contend for, so generous is Mr. B-, and so observant and so grateful have I thought it my duty to be: yet I could give you many respectful instances, too, of his receding, when he has desired to see what I have been writing, and I have told him to whom, and begged to be excused. One such instance I can give since I began this letter. This is it.

I put it in my bosom when he came up: do so.

He saw me

Are you writing, my dear, what I must not see?

I am writing to Miss Darnford, sir; and she begged you might not, at present.

This augments my curiosity, Pamela. What can two such ladies write that I may not see?

If you will not be displeased, sir, I had rather you would not, because she desires you may not see her letter, nor this my answer, till the latter is in her hands.

Then I will not, returned Mr. B

Will this instance, my dear, come up to your demand for one, where he recedes from his own will, in complaisance to mine?

But now, as to what both our notions and our practice are on the article of my retirements, and whether he breaks in upon them unceremoniously, and without apology, let the conversation I promised inform you, which began on the following occasion :

Mr. Brode out early one morning, within a few days past, and did not return till the afternoon; an absence I had not been used to of late; and breakfasting and dining without him being also a new thing with me, I had such an impatience to see him, having expected him at dinner, that I was forced to retire to my closet, to try to divert it by writing; and the gloomy conclusion of my last, was then the subject. He returned about four o'clock, and indeed did not tarry to change his riding-dress, as your politeness, my dear friend, would perhaps have expected; but came directly up to me, with an impatience to see me, equal to