On observing some Names of little note recorded in the Biographia Britannica.
OH, fond attempt to give a deathless lot
To names ignoble, born to be forgot!
In vain, recorded in historick page,
They court the notice of a future age.
'Those twinkling tiny lustres of the land
Drop one by one from Fame's neglecting hand
Lethean gulfs receive them as they fall,
And dark oblivion soon absorbs them all.
So when a child, as playful children use,
Has burnt to tinder a stale last year's news,
The flame extinct, he views the roving fire-
There goes my lady, and there goes the squire,
There goes the parson, oh illustrious spark!
And there, scarce less illustrious, goes the clerk !
REPORT
Of an adjudged Case, not to be found in any of the Books.
I.
BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.
So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill, ard a wig full of learning,
While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So fam'd for his talent in nicely discerning.
III.
In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find,
That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.
IV.
Then holding the spectacles up to the court.
Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle
As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
V.
Again, would your lordship a moment suppose,
("Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again,) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose, Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then? VI.
On the whole it appears, and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.
VII.
Then shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows now,)
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes:
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise
VIII.
So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but-
That, whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,
By day-light or candle-light-Eyes should be shut
16 *
LORD MANSFIELD'S LIBRARY,
TOGETHER WITH HIS MSS.
By the Mob, in the month of June, 1780
I.
So then the Vandals of our isle,
Sworn foes to sense and law,
Have burnt to dust a nobler pile
Than ever Roman saw !
II.
And Murray sighs o'er Pope and Swift,
And many a treasure more,
The well-judged purchase and the gift,
That grac'd his letter'd store.
III.
Their pages mangled, burnt, and torn,
The loss was his alone;
But ages yet to come shall mourn
The burning of his own.
1.
WHEN Wit and Genius meet their doom
In all-devouring flame,
They tell us of the fate of Rome,
And bid us fear the same.
II.
O'er Murray's loss the muses wept,
They felt the rude alarm,
Yet bless'd the guardian care that kept
His sacred head from harm.
III.
There mem'ry, like the bee, that's fed
From Flora's balmy store,
The quintessence of all he read
Had treasur'd up before.
IV.
The lawless herd, with fury blind,
Have done him cruel wrong;
The flow'rs are gone-but still we find
The honey on his tongue.
LOVE OF THE WORLD REPROVED;
THUS says the prophet of the Turk-
Good musselman, abstain from pork;
There is a part in every swine
No friend or follower of mine
May taste, whate'er his inclination,
Upon pain of excommunication.
Such Mahomet's mysterious charge
And thus he left the point at large..
Had he the sinful part express'd,
They might with safety eat the rest;
But for one piece they thought it hard
From the whole hog to be debarr'd;
And set their wit at work to find
What joint the prophet had in mind.
Much controversy straight arose,
These choose the back, the belly those;
By some 'tis confidently said
He meant not to forbid the head;
While others at that doctrine rail,
And piously prefer the tail.
Thus conscience freed from ev'ry clog,
Mahometans eat up the hog.
* It may be proper to inform the reader, that this piece has already appeared in print, having found its way, though with some unnecessary additions by an unknown hand, into the Leeds Journal, without the author's privity.
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