than formerly, I know I may judge this to be a very sound and sure ground.

Fifthly, Whereas I was sometimes, and naturally am, of a very sharp and censorious disposition, of a bitter and persecuting humour, especially to such as in matters of opinion differed from me; it hath pleased the Lord a little to frame my heart another way; inclining me rather to compassion and pity those that err, and through darkness or delusion, are, in this time of temptation, miscarried in their judgments about those matters wherein good men differ among themselves; especially when the Foundation is kept, and a conversation blameless according to the gospel, there, I think, much pity and charity is to be exercised. Charity thinketh no evil :" where it may think good, it thinks no evil;-and I desire to extend it no further. So, this desire which I had to do the people of God service, and love to them as such-which I dare not but confess, to the praise of God, he has in some measure granted to me-that was another ground.

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Sixthly, Love to and desire after the most homespeaking and soul-searching ministry, that discovers sin and its abominable nature most, and distinguishes and discerns best betwixt real and true grace and its counterfeit. I have been many times glad to find it so, even when the doctrine hath most opposed my corruption and idol, or the sin of my natural complexion and temper; which corruption in me I would, [according to the propensity of the unregenerate part,] most willingly have dallied with. Yet, how sorely have I been foiled again and again, after all this, by the strivings of these corruptions in me!

Seventhly, A desire I had to be useful to God in my generation, to know the work of my generation;

and if I could do no more-I was willing, and sometimes was helped, to pray for it. The mistakes and ignorance of God's people about this, is not the least part of their judgment-if I mistake not. And, that the Lord was pleased to give me any desire after the knowledge of his mind, in observing his wonderful way of dispensations, I count it no small mercy, and another ground or proof of his love towards me.

Though these and the like signs are good, yet, that assurance and testimony is made out but as it were in part,—it is not full and complete, without the Spirit's [express] testimony, bearing witness with our spirits that we are the children of God. Rom. viii. 16. And the Spirit (not of the world, but the Spirit of God) is given for this end-that we might know the things that are freely given us of God, 1 Cor. ii. 12 : wherein, this is clearly intimated-that every believer hath the Spirit for this end given to him, that he may determine rightly betwixt the graces of the Spirit; as it follows, verse 15, "The spiritual man judgeth all things." And where this judgment cannot be thus infallibly made, there the heart is not in that good frame and approved condition it ought to be; for, Know ye not that Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates." 2 Cor. xiii. 5.

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It pleaseth my Lord, who is only wise, to keep me in a hungry, low condition; that, though I dare not say but there is hope, yet, how exceeding far am I from that measure and full assurance, which I desire to wait for! And, in waiting, I have been much assaulted, and brought nigh to the very gates of despair. Oh, what a dreadful sin is misbelief! it counts God a liar. 1 John, v. 10. When I was, many times, through renewed assaults of a busy enemy,

brought very low,-even near fainting as to the hope of victory, there was then ordinarily brought to my mind some Scriptures: a few of them I shall mention; for the consideration of them has been of much use to me." There hath no temptation befallen you, but such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." 1 Cor. x. 13. The faithfulness of God is engaged to make way for your escape. But misbelief said, he was long a coming. Answer: "The vision is for the appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Hab. ii. 3. See Psal. xxvii. 14, and Isai. xxviii. 16.

A special means, by which I was [prevailed upon] the more willingly to wait, was this, that I could not deny, but it was clearly for my advantage, even to be delayed in having granted unto me, what my soul so much sought after. For my gracious Lord was pleased to let me sec, that, by leading into this wilderness, and pleading with me there, would he bring me into the bond of the covenant. Ezek. xx. 35, 37.

The mercies I found most obvious to my discerning, in this dispensation, were, First, That by this means, he made me study to be humble, very humble, when I saw so much cause of humiliation, so much vileness, in me.-Secondly, I was thereby drawn to pray oftener, and sometimes to set days apart.— Thirdly, I was the more convinced of the necessity of a constant, continued influence of grace from him, or be overcome.-Fourthly, That I was not already overcome, did speak clearly out that the almighty

power and arm of the Lord was to be seen in it, or I could not have resisted one assault for one moment.Fifthly, I was by this means also, stirred up some way to seek after more close fellowship and communion with him: this thought being, in meditation one night, offered to me, and on the morrow written down, that I should not be free of raging devils to assault, and a loose heart to give way, until I were helped to make more account of Christ's company than formerly.-Sixthly, I learned hereby, to pity others that were tempted, and to know how to speak of and to such.-Seventhly, Sometimes I was brought by this, to think a little of death, and of the happiness of their condition who were away, because they were not thus molested with sin.-On such accounts, did I conclude it to be my duty, not only to go on wrestling with grief and sore distress, through this miserable valley of tears, but with cheerfulness to proceed.

The consideration of these Scriptures following, afforded not only matter patiently to wait, but to desire to do it cheerfully: and I must say this, that I found it a way much blessed to me of the Lord,-and so shalt thou, if thou rightly essay it. See Psal. xxvii. 14, where waiting on the Lord is joined with good courage. He gives those much that thus wait on him; more than ear can hear of, or eye can see, has he prepared for them that wait for him, Isai. Ixiv. 4; and it is added, that he meets them that rejoice. See how, in Deut. xvi. 14, 15, the people are commanded to rejoice, and in xxviii. 47, how they are threatened with wrath for not doing it surely, whoso attains rightly to act in this duty, so to rejoice as to do it "evermore," 1 Thes. v. 16; and yet to fear always, Prov. xxviii. 14, he shall find the joy

of the Lord to be his strength, as it is promised in Neh. viii. 10.

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And, as this is the way much recommended, so hath it been blessed with success unto the saints in all ages. When they were brought to the greatest extremity of difficulties, then did they take comfort and rejoice in the Lord; and when all help failed, he was a strong tower of refuge unto them; for he waits to be gracious, Isai. xxx. 18, and his eye runs through all the earth, seeking to show himself so. 2 Chron. xvi. 9. See it made good in David's experience, 1 Sam. xxx. 6, when he was brought to the greatest strait that ever he was in, it is then said, he encouraged himself in the Lord his God, and went on and got victory over all his enemies. And in Hab. iii. 18, Although the fig-tree shall not blossom, nor fruit be in the vines," &c. he concludes, albeit all the course of nature, and heaven and earth, should fall and turn upside down, " yet will I rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation. So are we exhorted to do in Isai. 1. 10, when we are in darkness and have no light, as the child of God may be, then is he to "trust in the name of the Lord, and stay himself on his God." Asa did thus, in a great strait, 2 Chron. xiv. 11, and found blessed success; and so, in these two notable places of Isaiah it is promised, chap. xli. 17, to the poor and needy, when their tongue fails them for thirst, then will God hear them; and chap. xl. 30, 31, "They shall renew their strength, and mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, and walk and not be faint;" and, chap. lix. 19, "When the enemy comes in like a flood, then the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him."