feet of divine mercy every day, and often in a day, if perad venture there might be hope of pardon, of which all that he could say, was, that he did not absolutely despair. He had, at that time, such a sense of the degeneracy of his own heart, that he hardly durst form any determinate resolution against sin, or pretend to engage himself by any vow in the presence of God; but was continually crying to him, that he would deliver him from the bondage of corruption. He perceived in himself a most surprising alteration with regard to the dispositions of his heart; so that, though he felt little of the delights of religious duties, he extremely desired opportunities of being engaged in them; and those licentious pleasures, which had before been his heaven, were now absolutely his aversion. And indeed, when I consider how habitual all those criminal indulgences were grown to him, and that he was now in the prime of life, and all this while, in high health too, I cannot but be astonished to reflect upon it, that he should be so wonderfully sanctified in body, as well as soul and spirit, as that, for all the future years of his life, he, from that hour, should find so constant a disinclination to, and abhorrence of those criminal sensualities, to which he fancied he was before so invincibly impelled by his very constitution, that he was used strangely to think, and to say, that Omnipotence itself could not reform him, without destroying that body, and giving him another*,

§ 38. Nor was he only delivered from that bondage of

* Mr. Spears expresses this wonderful circumstance in these remarkable words; "I was, (said the Colonel to me), effectually cured of all inclination to that sin I was so strongly addicted to, that I thought nothing but shooting me through the head could have cured me of it; and all desire and inclination to it was removed as entirely, as if I had been a sucking child: nor did the temptation return to this day." Mr. Webster's words on the same subject are these, "One thing I have heard the Colonel frequently say, that he was much addicted to impurity before his acquaintance with religion; but that, so soon as he was enlightened from above, he felt the power of the Holy Ghost changing his nature, so wonderfully, that his sanctification in this respect seemed more remarkable than in any other." On which, that worthy person, makes this very reasonable reflection: "So thorough a change of such a polluted nature, evidenced by the most unblemished walk and conversation for a long course of years, demonstrates, indeed, the power of the Highest, and leaves no room to doubt of its reality." Mr. Spears says, this happened in three days time: But from what I can recollect, all that the Colonel could mean by that expression, if he used it, (as I conclude he did), was, that he began to make the observation in the space of three days; whereas, during that time, his thoughts were so taken up with the wonderful views presented to his mind, that he did not immediately attend to it. If he had, within the first three days, any temptation to seek some ease from the anguish of his mind, in returning to former sensualities, it is a circumstance, he did not mention to me; and by what I can recollect of the strain of his discourse, he intimated, if he did not express the contrary.

corruption, which had been habitual to him for many years, but felt in his breast so contrary a disposition, that he was grieved to see human nature, in those, to whom he was almost entirely a stranger, prostituted to such low and contemptible pursuits. He therefore exerted his natural courage in a very new kind of combat; and became an open advocate for religion, in all its principles, so far as he was acquainted with them, and all its precepts, relating to sobriety, righteousness, and godliness. Yet he was very desirous and cautious, that he might not run into an extreme, and made it one of his first petitions to God, the very day after these amazing impressions had been wrought in his mind, that he might not be suffered to behave with such an affected strictness and preciseness, as would lead others about him into mistaken notions of religion, and expose it to reproach or suspicion, as if it were an unlovely or uncomfortable thing. For this reason, he endeavoured to appear as cheerful in conversation as he conscientiously could; though in spite of all his precautions, some traces of that deep inward sense, which he had of his guilt and misery, would at times appear. He made no secret of it, however, that his views were entirely changed, though he concealed the particular circumstances attending that change. He told his most intimate companions freely, that he had reflected on the course of life in which he had so long joined them, and found it to be folly and madness, unworthy a rational creature, and much more, unworthy persons calling themselves christians. And he set up his standard upon all occasions, against principles of infidelity and practices of vice, as determinately and as boldly as ever he displayed or planted his colours, when he bore them with so much honour in the field.

§39. I cannot forbear mentioning one struggle of this kind, which he described to me, with a large detail of circumstances, the first day of our acquaintance. There was, at that time, in Paris, a certain lady (whose name, then well known in the grand and the gay world, I must beg leave to conceal), who had imbibed the principles of deism, and valued herself much upon being an avowed advocate for them. The Major, with his usual frankness (though, I doubt not, with that politeness of manners, which was so habitual to him, and which he retained throughout his whole life), answered her like a man, who perfectly saw through the fallacy of her arguments, and, was grieved to the heart for her delusion. On this, she briskly challenged him to debate the matter at large, and to fix upon a day for that purpose, when he should dine with her, attended with any clergyman he might

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choose, whether of the Protestant or Catholic communion. sense of duty would not allow him to decline this challenge; and yet he had no sooner accepted it, but he was thrown into great perplexity and distress, lest, being (as I remember he expressed it, when he told me the story), only a Christian of six weeks old, he should prejudice so good a cause, by his unskilful manner of defending it. However, he sought his refuge in earnest, and repeated prayers to God, that he, who can ordain strength, and perfect praise out of the mouth of babes and sucklings, would graciously enable him, on this occasion, to vindicate his truths in a manner which might carry conviction along with it. He then endeavoured to marshal the arguments in his own mind as well as he could; and apprehending that he could not speak with so much freedom, before a number of persons, especially before such, whose province he might, in that case, seem to invade, if he had not devolved the principal part of the discourse upon them, he easily admitted the apology of a clergyman or two, to whom he mentioned the affair, and waited on the lady alone, upon the day appointed. But his heart was so set upon the business, that he came earlier than he was expected, and time enough to have two hours' discourse before dinner; nor did he at all decline having two young persons nearly related to the lady, present during the conference.

§ 40. The Major opened it with a view of such arguments for the Christian religion, as he had digested in his own mind, to prove, that the apostles were not mistaken themselves, and that they could not have intended to impose upon us in the accounts they give of the grand facts they attest; with the truth of which facts, that of the Christian religion is most apparently connected. And it was a great encouragement to him to find, that, unaccustomed as he was to discourses of this nature, he had an unusual command both of thought and expression; so that he recollected and uttered every thing as he could have wished. The lady heard with attention; and though he paused between every branch of the argument, she did not interrupt the course of it, till he told her he had finished his design, and waited for her reply. She then produced some of her objections, which he took up and canvassed in such a manner, that, at length, she burst out into tears, allowed the force of his arguments and replies, and appeared, for some time after, so deeply impressed with the conversation, that it was observed by several of her friends: And there is reason to believe, that the impression continued, at least, so far as to prevent her from ever appearing under the character of an unbeliever or a sceptic.

§ 41. This is only one specimen, among many, of the battles he was almost daily called out to fight in the cause of religion and virtue; with relation to which I find him expressing himself thus, in a letter to Mrs. Gardiner, his good mother, dated from Paris, the 25th January following, that is, 1719-20, in answer to one, in which she had warned him to expect such trials: "I have (says he), already met with them, and am obliged to fight, and to dispute every inch of ground: But all thanks and praise to the great Captain of my salvation; he fights for me; and then it is no wonder, that I come off more than conqueror." By which last expression I suppose he meant to insinuate, that he was strengthened and established, rather than overborne by this opposition. Yet it was not immediately, that he gained such fortitude. He has often told me, how much he felt in those days of the emphasis of those well-chosen words, in which he ranks the trial of cruel mockings, with scourgings, and bonds, and imprisonments. The continual railleries with which he was received in almost all companies where he had been most familiar before, did often distress him beyond measure; so that he has several times declared, he would much rather have marched up to a battery of the enemy's cannon, than have been obliged, so continually as he was, to face such artillery as this. But, like a brave soldier in the first action wherein he is engaged, he continued resolute, though shuddering at the terror of the assault; and quickly overcame those impressions, which it is not perhaps in nature wholly to avoid. And therefore I find him, in the letter referred to above, which was written about half a year after his conversion, "quite ashamed to think of the uneasiness, which these things once gave him." In a word, he went on, as every resolute Christian, by divine grace, may do, till he turned ridicule and opposition, into respect and veneration.

§ 42. But this sensible triumph over these difficulties was not till his christian experience had been abundantly advanced, by the blessing of God, on the sermons he heard (particularly in the Swiss Chapel), and on the many hours, which he spent in devout retirement, pouring out his whole soul before God in prayer. He began, within about two months after his first memorable change, to perceive some secret dawnings of more cheerful hope, that vile as he saw himself to be (and I believe no words can express, how vile that was), he might nevertheless obtain mercy through a Redeemer. And at length (if I remember right, about the end of October 1719), he found all the burden

of his mind taken off at once, by the powerful impression of that memorable scripture upon his mind, Rom. iii. 25, 26. Whom God hath set forth for a propitiation, through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness in the remission of sins,-that he might be just, and the justifier of him that believeth in Jesus. He had used to imagine, that the justice of God required the damnation of so enormous a sinner, as he saw himself to be: but now he was made deeply sensible, that the divine justice might be not only vindicated, but glorified, in saving him by the blood of Jesus, even that blood, which cleanseth us from all sin. Then did he see, and feel the riches of redeeming love and grace, in such a manner, as not only engaged him with the utmost pleasure and confidence to venture his soul upon it; but even swallowed up, as it were, his whole heart in the returns of love, which, from that blessed time, became the genuine and delightful principle of his obedience, and animated him with an enlarged heart, to turn to the way of God's commandments. Thus, God was pleased, as he himself used to speak, in an hour, to turn his captivity. All the terrors of his former state were changed into unutterable joy, which kept him almost continually waking for three nights together, and yet refreshed him as the noblest of cordials. His expressions, though naturally very strong, always seemed to be swallowed up, when he would describe the series of thought, through which he now passed, under the rapturous experience of that joy unspeakable, and full of glory, which then seemed to overflow his very soul; as indeed there was nothing, he seemed to speak of with greater relish. And though the first ecstasies of it afterwards subsided into a more calm and composed delight, yet were the impressions so deep and so permanent, that he assured me, on the word of a Christian and a friend, wonderful as it might seem, that for about seven years after this, he enjoyed almost an heaven upon earth. His soul was so continually filled with a sense of the love of God in Christ, that it knew little interruption, but when necessary converse and the duties of his station called off his thoughts for a little time; and when they did so, as soon as he was alone, the torrent returned into its natural channel again; so that, from the minute of his awakening in the morning, his heart was rising to God, and triumphing in him; and these thoughts attended him through all the scenes of life, till he lay down on his bed again, and a short parenthesis of sleep (for it was but a very short one, that he allowed himself) invigorated his animal powers for renewing them with greater intenseness and sensibility.