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And o'er the seat, with plenteous wadding stuff'd,

Induc'd a splendid cover, green and blue,
Yellow and red, of tapestry richly wrought
And woven close, or needlework sublime.
There might you see the piony spread wide,
The full-blown rose, the shepherd and his lass,
Lapdog and lambkin with black staring eyes,
And parrots with twin cherries in their beak.

Now came the cane from India smooth and

bright

With Nature's varnish; sever'd into stripes,

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That interlac'd each other, these supplied

Of texture firm a lattice-work, that brac'd
The new machine, and it became a chair.
But restless was the chair; the back erect
Distress'd the weary loins, that felt no ease;
The slipp'ry seat betray'd the sliding part,
That press'd it, and the feet hung dangling down,
Anxious in vain to find the distant floor.

These for the rich: the rest, whom Fate had plac'd

In modest mediocrity, content

With base materials, sat on well-tann'd hides,
Obdurate and unyielding, glassy smooth,
With here and there a tuft of crimson yarn,
Or scarlet crewel, in the cushion fix'd,

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If cushion might be call'd, what harder seem'd Than the firm oak, of which the frame was form'd. No want of timber then was felt or fear'd

In Albion's happy isle. The lumber stood
Pond'rous and fix'd by it's own massy weight.
But elbows still were wanting; these, some say, 60
An alderman of Cripplegate contriv'd;

And some ascribe th' invention to a priest,
Burly, and big, and studious of his ease.
But, rude at first, and not with easy slope
Receding wide, they press'd against the ribs,
And bruis'd the side; and, elevated high,
Taught the rais'd shoulders to invade the ears.
Long time elaps'd or e'er our rugged sires.

Complain'd, though incommodiously pent in,

And ill at ease behind. The ladies first

'Gan murmur, as became the softer sex.
Ingenious Fancy, never better pleas'd

Than when employ'd t'accommodate the fair,
Heard the sweet moan with pity, and devis'd
The soft settee; one elbow at each end,

And in the midst an elbow it receiv'd,

United yet divided, twain at once.

So sit two kings of Brentford on one throne;

And so two citizens who, take the air,

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Close pack'd, and smiling, in a chaise and one. so
But relaxation of the languid frame,

By soft recumbency of outstretch'd limbs,
Was bliss reserv'd for happier days. So slow

The growth of what is excellent; so hard
To attain perfection in this nether world.
Thus first Necessity invented stools,
Convenience next suggested elbowchairs,
And Luxury th' accomplish'd sofa last.

The nurse sleeps sweetly, hir'd to watch the sick,
Whom snoring she disturbs. As sweetly he, 90
Who quits the coach-box at the midnight hour,
To sleep within the carriage more secure,
His legs depending at the open door.
Sweet sleep enjoys the curate in his desk,
The tedious rector drawling o'er his head;
And sweet the clerk below. But neither sleep
Of lazy nurse, who snores the sick man dead;
Nor his, who quits the box at midnight hour,
To slumber in the carriage more secure;

Nor sleep enjoy'd by curate in his desk;
Nor

yet the dozings of the clerk, are sweet, Compar'd with the repose the SOFA yields.

O may
I live exempted (while I live
Guiltless of pamper'd appetite obscene)
From pangs arthritic, that infest the toe

Of libertine Excess. The SOFA suits

The gouty limb, 'tis true; but gouty limb,

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Though on a SOFA, may I never feel:

For I have lov'd the rural walk through lanes Ofgrassy swarth,close cropp'd by nibbling sheep, 110 And skirted thick with intertexture firm

Of thorny boughs; have lov'd the rural walk
O'er hills, through vallies, and by rivers' brink,
E'er since a truant boy I pass'd my bounds,
T'enjoy a ramble on the banks of Thames;
And still remember, nor without regret

Of hours, that sorrow since has much endear'd,
How oft, my slice of pocket store consum'd,
Still hung'ring, pennyless, and far from home,
I fed on scarlet hips and stony haws,
Or blushing crabs, or berries, that emboss
The bramble, black as jet, or sloes austere.
Hard fare! but such as boyish appetite
Disdains not; nor the palate, undeprav'd
By culinary arts, unsav'ry deems.
No sora then awaited my return;

Nor SOFA then I needed. Youth repairs

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