them; which fhould be beftowed on them, as if it were a natural con- Craving. fequence of their good behaviour, and not a bargain about it. But you will lofe your labour, and, what is more, their love and reverence too, if they can receive from others what you deny them. This is to be kept very ftanch, and carefully to be watched. And here the fervants come again in my way.

§ 108. IF this be begun betimes, and they accuftom themselves early Curiofity. to filence their defires, this ufeful habit will fettle them; and, as they come to grow up in age and difcretion, they may be allowed greater liberty; when reafon comes to speak in them, and not paffion. For whenever reafon would fpeak, it fhould be hearkened to. But, as they fhould never be heard, when they fpeak for any particular thing they would have, unless it be firft propofed to them; fo they fhould always be heard, and fairly and kindly anfwered, when they afk after any thing they would know, and defire to be informed about. Curiofity fhould be as carefully cherished in children, as other appetites fuppreffed.

HOWEVER ftrict a hand is to be kept upon all defires of fancy, yet Recreation. there is one cafe wherein fancy must be permitted to fpeak, and be hearkened to alfo. Recreation is as neceffary as labour or food: but because there can be no recreation without delight, which depends not always on reason, but oftener on fancy, it must be permitted children not only to divert themselves, but to do it after their own fashion, provided it be innocently, and without prejudice to their health; and therefore in this cafe they should not be denied, if they propofed any particular kind of recreation; though I think, in a well-ordered education, they will feldom be brought to the neceffity of afking any fuch liberty. Care fhould be taken, that what is of advantage to them, they fhould always do with delight; and, before they are wearied with one, they fhould be timely diverted to fome other ufeful employment. But if they are not yet brought to that degree of perfection, that one way of improvement can be made a recreation to them, they must be let loofe to the childish play they fancy; which they fhould be weaned from, by being made furfeited of it: but from things of ufe, that they are employed in, they fhould always be fent away with an appetite; at leaft be difmiffed before they are tired, and grow quite fick of it; that fo they may return to it again, as to a pleasure that diverts them. For you must never think them fet right, till they can find delight in the practice of laudable things; and the useful exercises of the body and mind, taking their turns, make their lives and improvement pleafant in a continued train of recreations, wherein the wearied part is conftantly relieved and refreshed. Whether this can be done in every temper, or whether tutors and parents will be at the pains, and have the difcretion and patience to bring them to this, I know not; but that it may be done in moft children, if a right courfe be taken to raise in them the defire of credit, efteem, and reputation, I do not at all doubt. And when they have fo much true life put into them, they may freely be talked with, about what moft delights them, and be

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Recreation. directed, or let loofe to it; fo that they may perceive that they are beloved and cherished, and that thofe under whofe tuition they are, are not enemies to their fatisfaction. Such a management will make them in love with the hand that directs them, and the virtue they are directed to.

Complaints.

Liberality.

THIS farther advantage may be made by a free liberty permitted them in their recreations, that it will discover their natural tempers, fhew their inclinations and aptitudes; and thereby direct wife parents in the choice, both of the course of life and employment they fhall defign them for, and of fit remedies, in the mean time, to be applied to whatever bent of nature they may observe most likely to miflead any of their children.

$109. 2. CHILDREN, who live together, often strive for mastery, whofe wills fhall carry it over the reft: whoever begins the contest, should be fure to be croffed in it. But not only that, but they should be taught to have all the deference, complaifance, and civility one for the other imaginable. This, when they fee it procures them respect, love, and esteem, and that they lofe no fuperiority by it, they will take more pleasure in, than in infolent domineering; for fo plainly is the other.

THE accufations of children one against another, which ufually are but the clamours of anger and revenge, defiring aid, fhould not be favourably received nor hearkened to. It weakens and effeminates their minds to fuffer them to complain: and if they endure fometimes crofling or pain from others, without being permitted to think it strange or intolerable, it will do them no harm to learn fufferance, and harden them early. But, though you give no countenance to the complaints of the querulous, yet take care to curb the infolence and ill-nature of the injurious. When you observe it yourself, reprove it before the injured party: but if the complaint be of fomething really worth your notice and prevention another time, then reprove the offender by himself alone, out of fight of him that complained, and make him go and afk pardon, and make reparation. Which coming thus, as it were, from himself, will be the more chearfully performed, and more kindly received, the love strengthened between them, and a cuftom of civility grow familiar amongst your children.

$110. 3. As to having and poffeffing of things, teach them to part with what they have, eafily and freely to their friends; and let them find by experience, that the inoft liberal has always moft plenty, with esteem and commendation to boot, and they will quickly learn to practise it. This, I imagine, will make brothers and fifters kinder and civiller to one another, and confequently to others, than twenty rules about good manners, with which children are ordinarily perplexed and cumbered. vetousness, and the defire of having in.our poffeffion, and under our dominion, more than we have need of, being the root of all evil, should be early and carefully weeded out; and the contrary quality, or a readiness to impart to others, implanted. This fhould be encouraged by great commendation and credit, and conftantly taking care, that he lofes nothing

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by his liberality. Let all the inftances he gives of fuch freenefs be al- Liberality. ways repaid, and with intereft; and let him fenfibly perceive, that the kindness he fhews to others is no ill husbandry for himself; but that it brings a return for kindness, both from thofe that receive it, and those who look on. Make this a conteft among children, who fhall out-do one another this way. And by this means, by a conftant practice, children having made it eafy to themfelves to part with what they have, good-nature may be fettled in them into an habit, and they may take pleafure, and pique themselves in being kind, liberal, and civil to others.

IF liberality ought to be encouraged, certainly great care is to be taken Juftice. that children tranfgrefs not the rules of juftice: and whenever they do, they should be fet right; and, if there be occafion for it, feverely rebuked.

OUR firft actions being guided more by felf-love than reafon or reflection, it is no wonder that in children they should be very apt to deviate from the juft meafures of right and wrong, which are in the mind the refult of improved reafon and ferious meditation. This the more. they are apt to mistake, the more careful guard ought to be kept over them, and every the leaft flip in this great focial virtue taken notice of and rectified; and that in things of the leaft weight and moment, both to inftruct their ignorance, and prevent ill habits, which, from fmall beginnings, in pins and cherry-ftones, will, if let alone, grow up to higher frauds, and be in danger to end at laft in down-right hardened dishonesty. The first tendency to any injuftice that appears, muft be fuppreffed with a fhew of wonder and abhorrency in the parents and governors. But becaufe children cannot well comprehend what injuftice is, till they underftand property, and how particular perfons come by it, the fafeft way to fecure honefty, is to lay the foundations of it early in liberality, and an eafinefs to part with to others whatever they have, or like, themselves. This may be taught them early, before they have language and understanding enough to form diftinct notions of property, and to know what is theirs by a peculiar right exclufive of others. And fince children feldom have any thing but by gift, and that for the moft part from their parents, they may be at firft taught not to take or keep any thing, but what is given them by thofe whom they take to have a power over it; and, as their capacities enlarge, other rules and cafes of juftice, and rights concerning" meum" and "tuum," may be propofed and inculcated. If any act of injuftice in them appears to proceed, not from mistake, but perverfenefs in their wills, when a gentle rebuke and fhame will not reform this irregular and covetous inclination, rougher remedies must be applied: and it is but for the father or tutor to take and keep from them fomething that they value, and think their own; or order fome body elfe to do it; and

fuch inftances make them fenfible, what little advantage they are like to make, by poffeffing themfelves unjustly of what is another's, whilft there are in the world ftronger and more men than they. But if an ingenuous deteftation of this fhameful vice be but carefully and early instilled VOL. IV. into

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into them, as I think it may, that is the true and genuine method to obviate this crime; and will be a better guard against dishonefty, than any confiderations drawn from intereft; habits working more conftantly, and with greater facility, than reafon: which, when we have most need of it, is feldom fairly confulted, and more rarely obeyed.

§ III. CRYING is a fault that should not be tolerated in children ; not only for the unpleasant and unbecoming noise it fills the house with, but for more confiderable reasons, in reference to the children themselves; which is to be our aim in education.

THEIR crying is of two forts; either ftubborn and domineering, or querulous and whining.

I. THEIR crying is very often a ftriving for mastery, and an open declaration of their infolence or obftinacy: when they have not the power to obtain their defire, they will, by their clamour and fobbing, maintain their title and right to it. This is an avowed continuing of their claim, and a fort of remonftrance against the oppreffion and injustice of those who deny them what they have a mind to.

$112. SOMETIMES their crying is the effect of pain or true forrow, and a bemoaning themselves under it.

THESE two, if carefully obferved, may, by the mien, looks, and actions, and particularly by the tone of their crying, be easily distinguished; but neither of them must be suffered, much less encouraged.

I. THE obftinate or ftomachful crying fhould by no means be permitted; because it is but another way of flattering their defires, and encouraging those paffions, which it is our main business to subdue: and if it be, as often it is, upon the receiving any correction, it quite defeats all the good effects of it; for any chastisement, which leaves them in this declared oppofition, only ferves to make them worse. The restraints and punishments laid on children are all mifapplied and loft, as far as they do not prevail over their wills, teach them to fubmit their paffions, and make their minds fupple and pliant to what their parents reafon advises them now, and fo prepare them to obey what their own reafon shall advife hereafter. But if, in any thing wherein they are croffed, they may be. suffered to go away crying, they confirm themselves in their defires, and cherish the ill humour, with a declaration of their right, and a refolution to fatisfy their inclinations the firft opportunity. This therefore is another argument against the frequent ufe of blows: for, whenever you come to that extremity, it is not enough to whip or beat them; you must do it, till you find you have fubdued their minds; till with fubmiffion and patience they yield to the correction; which you shall best discover by their crying, and their ceafing from it upon your bidding. Without this, the beating of children is but a paffionate tyranny over them: and it is mere cruelty, and not correction, to put their bodies in pain, without doing their minds any good. As this gives us a reason why children should seldom be corrected, fo it alfo prevents their being fo. For if, whenever they are chastised, it were done thus without paffion, foberly

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and yet effectually too, laying on the blows and smart, not furiously and Crying. all at once, but flowly, with reasoning between, and with observation how it wrought, stopping when it had made them pliant, penitent, and yielding; they would feldom need the like punishment again, being made careful to avoid the fault that deserved it. Besides, by this means, as the punishment would not be loft, for being too little, and not effectual; fo it would be kept from being too much, if we gave off as foon as we perceived that it reached the mind, and that was bettered. For, fince the chiding or beating of children should be always the least that poffibly may be, that which is laid on in the heat of anger, feldom obferves that meafure; but is commonly more than it should be, though it prove less than enough.

$113. 2. MANY children are apt to cry, upon any little pain they fuffer ; and the least harm that befals them, puts them into complaints and bawling. This few children avoid: for it being the first and natural way to declare their fufferings or wants, before they can speak, the compaffion that is thought due to that tender age, foolishly encourages, and continues it in them long after they can speak. It is the duty, I confefs, of those about children, to compaffionate them, whenever they fuffer any hurt; but not to fhew it in pitying them. Help and ease them the best you can, but by no means bemoan them. This foftens their minds, and makes them yield to the little harms that happen to them; whereby they fink deeper into that part which alone feels, and make larger wounds there, than otherwise they would. They should be hardened against all fufferings, especially of the body, and have no tenderness but what rifes from an ingenuous fhame and a quick fenfe of reputation. The many inconveniencies this life is expofed to require we should not be too fenfible of every little hurt. What our minds yield not to, makes but a flight impreffion, and does us but very little harm; it is the fuffering of our fpirits that gives and continues the pain. This brawniness and infenfibility of mind, is the best armour we can have against the common evils and accidents of life; and being a temper that is to be got by exercise and custom, more than any other way, the practice of it should be begun betimes, and happy is he that is taught it early. That effeminacy of spirit, which is to be prevented or cured, and which nothing, that I know, fo much increases in children as crying; fo nothing, on the other fide, fo much checks and restrains, as their being hindered from that sort of complaining. In the little harms they fuffer, from knocks and falls, they fhould not be pitied for falling, but bid do fo again; which, befides that it ftops their crying, is a better way to cure their heedlefness, and prevent their tumbling another time, than either chiding or bemoaning them. But, let the hurts they receive be what they will, ftop their crying, and that will give them more quiet and ease at present, and harden them for the future.

S. 114. THE former fort of crying requires severity to filence it; and where a look, or a pofitive command, will not do it, blows muft: for it

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