In the course of this year, there were some deaths in college, which deeply impressed my mind with a sense of the uncertainty of life, the necessity of religion and the importance of a good hope. I felt a conviction of my sinfulness, lamented it before God, sought His mercy, and seemed to myself, as if religion was my choice; but was much discouraged by an apprehension, that I was one of the non-elect. I spent much time in secret exercises. As I was walking and meditating, one day, in solitude and anxiety, I reasoned thus with myself. "A Saviour has come to open a way of salvation for sinners. Salvation is offered, and the terms are stated. The offer is to all, and the terms are the same for all. In God there is no insincerity. To Him belong secret things; things only which are revealed belong to me. There can be no decree, which frustrates the Divine promises. If I comply with the terms, the benefits promised are mine. God has chosen men to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth. It concerns me to make my election sure by adding to my faith, virtue, &c. By faith and patience I may inherit the promises."

By thus arguing with myself, my anxiety was relieved, my mind composed, and my hope strengthened. Soon after this I made a profession of religion in the church in Bolton; and there, for the first time, I came to the Lord's table.

After I had taken my degree, I came to Springfield, first parish, to teach a grammar school, and was admitted a boarder in the family of Rev. R. Breck, the minister of the parish, who kindly assisted me in my professional studies. I had the happiness of the company of Mr. Whitney,* a licensed candidate, who then resided in the family.

* The Rev. Dr. Whitney of Brooklyn, Conn. The friendship which commenced between them at this early period was mutually cherished, till the close of Dr. L's life. Doctor W. survives his venerable friend, and it is understood that he is now at the advanced age of 90, in comfortable health, and in the possession of a good degree of intellectual vigour.

In January, 1756, by advice of Mr. Breck, I offered myself as a candidate for the ministry, to an Association of ministers then sitting in Suffield, who examined, approved and recommended me.

In March following, in consequence of advice from neighboring ministers, I was invited by the parish, of which I am now the pastor, then vacant by the death of Rev. S. Hopkins, to preach as a candidate for settlement. In July I received an unanimous call, and in August received ordination. This was the only vacancy, in which I preached as a candidate, and I was the only candidate employed by the parish.

Some time after my ordination, realizing, from a little experience, the greatness of my work and my own insufficiency for it; considering how much might depend on my fidelity in it, and fearing I had undertaken it presumptuously, I set apart a day for secret devotion, having a special regard to my ministerial work. My meditations and resolutions on that day I committed to writing for my future use and benefit.

After invoking God's presence and assistance, I called to mind the mercies which I had experienced from my childhood to that time, more particularly marking such as had been distinguished. I acknowledged my high obligations, lamented my unworthy returns, sought forgiveness of sins past, and implored grace for the time to come.

I then made a fresh dedication of myself to God, with resolutions of future obedience to His will, and of fidelity in His service. My resolutions were, in substance, as follows:

With regard to my devotions, I resolved,

That I would direct my morning thoughts to God, and spend some of my earliest moments in conversing with Him-That at evening I would recollect the sins and errors of the day, seeking God's mercy for pardon, and His grace for future security, and would review occurrences in Providence with suitable reflections

upon them-That I would anticipate the seasons of devotion, when I foresaw probable diversions-That I would transact ordinary business in the fear of God, set Him before me, and act under a sense of His presence-That I would seek a more intimate acquaintance with religion in its doctrines and duties, and make it the rule of my conduct and the source of my comfort. With regard to the government of myself, I resolved,

To use God's creatures with sobriety-To exclude vain and sinful thoughts-To suppress rising corruptions-to avoid foreseen temptations, and resist such as might suddenly assail meTo set a watch before me in places of known danger-To guard against rash and unadvised speech-To keep my passions in subjection, and acquire, as far as possible, an habitual command of them.

In my treatment of men, I resolved,

To preserve a sacred regard to truth in my words, and to justice in my conduct-To be tender of characters-Kind to the needy—Meek under supposed injuries-Thankful for favours— Hospitable to strangers-Condescending in cases of differenceCourteous and peaceable to all men.

In

my ministerial character and work, I resolved,

To cultivate in my heart, and exemplify in my life, that religion which I had undertaken to preach-To compose my sermons with perspicuity, and accommodate them to the circumstances of my people-To attend on my ministry, even though I might incur worldly loss-To select subjects of real importance, and handle them faithfully, though I myself should fall under the censure of my own preaching-To improve Providences in my preaching-To commend myself to the consciences of my hearers-In things indifferent, to make, not my own will and humour, but the common peace and edification the rule of my conduct-To visit, advise and comfort my people as occasion might

require; but not to spend, in ceremonious and useless visits, the time which ought to be employed in my study-To attend to the calls of rich and poor indifferently, without preferring one before another-To write my sermons with care, and seek Divine direction when I entered on the composition of them-To approach God's house with collection of thought and with a petition for the presence of his grace-To speak that only which might be profitable, and to keep back nothing that was so-To choose out acceptable, but upright words-To pay particular attention to the youth in my preaching-To examine what effect my preaching has on myself, and pray that it may have a saving effect on my hearers-To commend my people often to the grace of God, and to remember at his throne their various particular cases-In all my religious inquiries to make the sacred oracles my guide, and never to receive for doctrine the commandments of men.

Having formed and written these resolutions, I laid them before God, and concluded with this prayer:-"My gracious God, these resolutions I have formed in thy presence, and, I hope, in thy fear. My performance will depend on thy grace. This I now humbly implore. Let it be present with me, and sufficient for me. I plead no worthiness of my own, for none have I to plead; but other and better arguments abound. They are such as thou hast put into my mouth and into my heart. Let these prevail. I plead thine abundant mercy; the righteousness and intercession of thy Son; the power and goodness of thy Spirit; the free offers of thy help made in thy word; thy command that I should seek thy Spirit, and the promise annexed to the command. May I not also plead my relation to thy people? Thou hast put me into the ministry. I know not how much the salvation of others may depend on my fidelity. Let not my sins and my unworthiness hinder my receiving such a supply of thy grace, as may be necessary to the success of my ministry. Let not my iniquities stand in the

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way of the salvation of any one among my fellow-sinners. However it may ultimately fare with me, my heart's desire and prayer for my people is, That they may be saved."

The transactions of this day I have repeatedly reviewed; and the review, I hope, has quickened me to duty; at least it has humbled me for my neglects.

In the evening of March 30, 1758, there was an occurrence, which I ought to remember with admiration and gratitude.

Late in the evening I was called to visit a family on a particular occasion, at the distance of two miles from my lodging. When I returned it was nearly midnight. Within about fifty rods of home, my horse stumbled, fell and threw me over his head. When he rose, I found my left foot entangled in the stirrup. As I attempted to disengage it, the horse, being affrighted, cast up his heels and ran, dragging me after him. My situation forbade the hope of human aid, and prevented all efforts of my own. I committed myself to Providence, perhaps with as much calmness as my condition would permit ; at least with as much as my mind was capable of. The horse made several turns, some so short that he almost trode on me. I was not in a situation to measure time, or ground; but the horse must have run with me a number of rods. At length my foot was disengaged, and I rose without feeling any injury, except some contusions by being dragged on the rough and frozen ground. A circumstance, trifling in itself, was the probable cause of my preservation. I had, on the preceding day, exchanged my shoes, and put on a pair in a state of decay, which I had not worn for a length of time. As it was evening, when I rode out, I wore the shoes which I had on. The horse, in plunging, pressed my foot so far forward, that the stirrup came over my shoe-buckle, and there hung. The leather being old and tender, gave way, and the strap which held the buckle